When I first read this question, my mind immediately went to my body.
That surprised me a little, but then I realized I’d been talking about it just a few days earlier.
Some friends invited us to a pool party. They’re true pool and beach people, the kind who spend
their summers in the water, soaking up the sunshine. I’m usually the one who finds a comfortable
chair in the shade.
I’ve always said, “I’m not a water person.”
I don’t dislike pools.
I don’t mind the beach.
I actually enjoy sitting nearby, listening to the laughter, watching the water shimmer in the sun.
What I don’t enjoy is what people usually wear to get in.
So, while everyone else arrived in swimsuits and flip-flops, I showed up wearing a casual dress
and tennis shoes.
The hosts weren’t surprised.
They know me.
In fact, they probably expected me to show up exactly as I did.
As I reflected on that conversation later, I asked myself something I hadn’t considered before.
Am I really not a water person…
…or do I simply dislike the clothing that comes with being in the water?
The more I thought about it, the more honest I had to become.
That’s when it hit me.
This wasn’t really about the pool party at all.
I’ve struggled with my body image for as long as I can remember. Even when I was younger,
there was always something I wished looked different. The number on the scale has changed
throughout my life, but the critical voice in my head has been surprisingly consistent.
Lately, I’ve been making healthier choices. I’m slowly slimming down and feeling encouraged by
the progress. Every small step feels like a victory.
But this question reminded me that there are really two journeys happening at the same time.
One is changing my body.
The other is changing the way I see it.
The second journey may be the harder of the two.
It made me wonder how many things I’ve convinced myself I simply didn’t enjoy.
“I’m not a beach person.”
“I’m not a pool person.”
“I don’t enjoy swimming.”
Maybe those statements weren’t entirely true.
Maybe they were simply easier to say than, “I don’t feel comfortable in a swimsuit.”
I know I’m not alone.
Most of us have something we feel self-conscious about. For some it’s their height. For others it’s
scars, wrinkles, hair, weight, or something no one else even notices.
Sometimes the greatest insecurity isn’t what we see in the mirror.
It’s the story we’ve been telling ourselves every time we look into it.
I’m not writing this because I’ve conquered those feelings.
Quite the opposite.
I’m writing this because this week’s question helped me recognize them in a new way.
Maybe healing doesn’t begin when we finally reach our goal weight.
Maybe it begins when we stop allowing the mirror to determine which invitations we accept,
which memories we make, and how fully we allow ourselves to live.
I didn’t get in the pool that day.
But I came home with something I wasn’t expecting.
A better understanding of myself.
Maybe one day I’ll get in the pool.
Maybe I won’t.
But I hope the decision comes from what I want and not from the story I’ve been telling myself
for years.
Because I think that’s where real change begins.
Reflection:
Have you ever labeled yourself as “not a ___ person” only to realize there was a deeper reason
behind it?
What story have you been telling yourself…and is it time to rewrite it?
Theresa
Flexible Being
Empowering Your Journey to Healing, Clarity, and Self-Discovery.
Concrete solutions. Flexible guidance.
When you’re ready, reach out—I’d love to continue the conversation.
Email: theresa@flexiblebeing.com
Website: www.flexiblebeing.com
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Theresa Martinez-Shapiro
Theresa Martinez-Shapiro is the founder of Flexible Being, a Reiki Master, Certified Oracle Guide, intuitive mentor, and writer based in Stockton, California. Through Musings of a Flexible Being, she explores healing, mindfulness, relationships, intuition, and personal growth with a grounded yet spiritual approach.
