Tick tock, tickety tock.
I recently “celebrated” a birthday…celebrated in quotey fingers because I’ve reached the point in life where birthdays feel kinda meh until your age ends in either a 0 or 5. Thirty-eight and feeling great? If you say so!
The other day I spotted a meme post on Instagram that resonated with me to my core:
“How do you tell someone “I’m not ignoring you I’m just disconnected from reality right now and the days are all blurred together and I feel completely apathetic towards everyone/everything around me so it’s really hard for me to maintain a conversation” without saying that?”
That’s been me x1000 for well over a year now. After having many heavy burdens of responsibility during the pandemic, I now only have enough energy to deliver the absolute bare minimum life requirements. Trust me, I gave it one heck of an effort, but I’ve finally slammed into the burnout wall many hit months ago.
Phone calls and texts have gone unreturned or replied to days late. Emails and direct messages have been delayed. As we speak I’ve been staring down hundreds of birthday messages that I really need to respond to. “I’ll get to it tomorrow,” I keep telling myself.
But by the time I blink, tomorrow has turned into a week…two weeks…damn, did a month just pass by? Yes sir, it sure did. What did I even do yesterday? Couldn’t tell ya. The current routine is to wake up, do things, look at the clock and realize it’s time to go to bed, repeat.
I’ve always felt like time goes by faster as you get older, but it’s currently at a point where time feels like it’s moving at an alarmingly fast pace. I’ve hit that lovely “time is ticking away” phase and I can’t stop thinking about it.
The workdays with the Bob & Sheri crew float by in an instant. One minute I’m laughing as Bob and Sheri roast each other in the morning before the school buses start tearing through the neighborhood, and the next it’s the middle of the afternoon. It’s got me thinking my bathroom is secretly a portal that’s letting me teleport hours into the future.
I play tons of softball, and I’m always thinking “How long do I have left of me being one of the most athletic people on the field before I’m an old man who can barely scoot around?
When I was a teenager, I had a neighbor friend who introduced me to a group called DC Talk and their album, “Free At Last.” There’s a song on the album called “Time Is…” (https://youtu.be/BCUpRUGQom0) that speeds up in tempo as the song goes along. By the end, the song is frantically screaming at you about how time is ticking away:
Time is tickin’, it keeps on tickin’
Your time is tickin’ away
Society really had us thinking that we needed to chase after its idea of a utopian life (career, house, marriage, kids) and have all of it by the time we’re like 25…the audacity. I’m only a few steps away from the big 4-0 and I’ve just now figured out exactly what I want in life and the measured steps required to get there.
I see the dream home in my mind. I can picture the adventures I want to take. Maybe I’ll experience the love of my life or two (or three) like Sheri. The only question is will I get to actually feel like I’m enjoying all of it before another 38 years of life blow by me?
For the people I’ve left on unread for the moment, just know I haven’t forgotten about you! I’m just currently trapped in some alternate universe where my every attempt to slow down and smell the roses is met by Father Time chasing me, constantly smacking me in the back of the head with a minute hand.
Thank you for sharing , that was beautiful & heartfelt!
I feel ya!
As one who’s staring down half a century, flying at me like a rabid bat- this resonates.
Doc, uh, belated happy birthday! This is the first piece of writing I see from you, and believe me, it resonated with me probably as much as that meme you quote resonated with you. The meme is a big part of the impact your post had. Just wanted to reach out and tell you that we love you, you are part of the Bob and Sheri family now, and we will look out for each other. Peace, Mia O’Brien
Beautiful. Thank you. ❤️
Doc,
So many times reading this, I thought..Oh my God, this IS me!….This is how I feel!
One of the differences with me is I’m fifty eight (I got twenty years on you ; )
Anywhoo I hope things slow a little for you and you enjoy life. Happy Birthday!
Great read!..and now one more reply you may or may not read 😂
We’re with you Doc. You’re not alone on this one. It seems this way for many of us. Hang in there and keep sharing. It makes a difference. Thank you!
Big Hugs for you, Doc. It may not seem like it now, but things will look up soon!
Happy Birthday! I can SO relate to your post. I turned 50 this year – 50! How did that even happen?? I look at my kids, who are now in their 20s and wonder where the years went. Wasn’t I just 26 reading them bedtime stories?? There are 2 sayings I find myself using a LOT lately, first, ‘the days are long but the years are short’. That one really hit me this year, probably because, as I said, I turned 50 and have no idea how I got here! The second is, ‘life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes’. I swear it was just January and now it’s almost October. Where did summer go, I was so busy…but what did I actually do?? Time indeed just keeps tickin’ away…
OMG, I’ve been feeling the same! This year has been so much worse for me than even 2020 was, and it was really rough. Between increasing work demand & responsibilities, I’ve been my mother’s care giver for a while now but this year she spent 6 months in the hospital (she doesn’t remember a lot of it, and it wasn’t covid, tell Bob he’s always been right about smoking), she is still on a ventilator but is now home with me & she can do very little for her self. I do it all, the house, the animals, anything she needs, mange the health care/insurance, nursing care for while I work & I can’t leave her alone. I am so burned out, minimal help from family.
I feel like time is doing this weird thing of flying past me while standing still at the same time. Thank you Doc for your writing it really helps to know others are experiencing this. Love everyone on the shows, y’all are keeping me sane. Thank you.
Doc,
So great to finally get a bit of insight into your personality! I’m sure you know what a fabulous family you have joined. WELCOME! We don’t hear enough from you on the show.
I can totally relate to your comments about the passing of time and I’m 75 YO. I would suggest you take a bit of time to think about and decide where you are going. I’m just getting around to doing that and I have a lot less time than you to get there.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
Doc, You put into words…. Beautifully what so many of us are feeling. To quote another song…. By Pink Floyd….
“ You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun”
However….YOU did not miss the starting gun…..38 is young.
So glad you are part of the Bob and Sheri team. Thank you for sharing this.
Well Doc, I don’t know what to say… but I’ll say it anyway! I WISH I was looking at 40. Time only gets faster. At my age, I, too, know what I want and the steps I need to take to get there. Problem is, it would take too long to retrace my steps back to that point. Unfortunately, time only moves forward! 🙃 God Bless You!
PS I like DC Talk as well, Newsboys, too… and others.