I don’t like driving at night. Yes, I realize that makes me sound like someone’s Nana, but it’s true. Will I drive at night? If I have to, but I generally try to avoid it.
Night vision has always been something of a problem for me. When I first got my driver’s license, I had terrible vision in general. I was approaching the classification of legally blind. My glasses were like the bottom of Coke bottles. My night vision was especially bad.
During my brief time wearing contacts in high school, my overall vision was slightly better. I also experienced the joy of depth perception and peripheral vision. However, I have crazy dry eyes and my contacts were very uncomfortable. So, I mainly wore glasses.
In my late 20s, I took the plunge and had LASIK surgery on my eyes. Well, let me tell you, that is some brilliant shit! Best money I have ever spent. I could see stuff I had never seen before. And holy cow, there was that depth perception and peripheral vision again! After LASIK my vision was almost perfect. You want to talk about life-changing! I could actually read labels in the shower. I had never been able to do that in my life.
Also, real sunglasses! The first stop after my surgery follow-up visit was the Sunglass Hut for a snazzy pair of sunglasses. I wore that same style of sunglasses for more than two decades. I loved those things.
My eyes were money for about 20 years. During this time, I was better with driving at night. It still wasn’t my favorite thing, but I did it without much thought or complaint.
At about age 47, I noticed my vision was changing some. What was my first clue? That would be the day I caught myself trying to read the directions on some heartburn medication with a magnifying glass. Fuck! The doctor told me this would happen. I was not happy. At about this same time I noticed road signs at night becoming as fuzzy as they had been in my youth. I made an appointment with the optometrist.
I knew I was going to need glasses, probably bifocals. I dreaded it with every fiber of my being. Do you know the part I hated most? I would have to give up my signature sunglasses. Dammit!
I’m now the less-than-proud wearer of progressive lenses. I have prescription sunglasses, too. I tried to keep my old favorite frames, but they just didn’t fit right with the prescription lenses. So, I now have another cute pair of shades, but they are just not the same. I miss my old sunglasses.
I’m even less of a fan of driving at night now. Even with my new glasses, my night vision isn’t great. As if poor night vision wasn’t enough, I also have an irrational fear of deer. I just know I’m going to be one of those people who hits a deer in my Honda Accord. It will be a 12-point buck. The rack will come through my windshield. An antler will go straight through my chest and pin me to my seat. That’s how I die. Yes, I know that is very dramatic. I fear it nonetheless.
This is why old people eat dinner at 4 p.m. They don’t like to drive at night and they are afraid of suicidal deer.
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