One of the things I will miss most as the warm weather comes to an end is something a lot of people dread: mowing the yard. I love it.
Before you even ask, I’m using a riding lawn mower. Our yard is more than an acre. I’m not push-mowing that shit. However, I have done a great deal of push-mowing in the past and I don’t mind it—to a point. That point would be about a half-acre. Max.
I come from a long line of yard mowers. Both my mom and granny did the yard upkeep in the family. I didn’t understand that as a kid. Most of my friends’ dads were in charge of that. Yet, I never saw my dad or grandfather touch a lawn mower. Then I got a kid. It was a major revelation when it hit me, “Ahhh, Mom just wanted to be left the fuck alone. I get it now.”
That’s the real joy of yard mowing. Just being left alone. No one asking you questions, complaining about something or wanting to know where an item is currently located. Just the white noise of the lawn tractor.
The white noise is great, but with the recent gift of noise-cancelling AirPods, I find myself listening to an audiobook during most mows. I’m pretty sure my neighbors think I’m a loon as I drive about laughing, crying or pumping my fist. I get very into audiobooks. I really don’t care what people think. My yard. My business.
I have some basic yard mowing rules, primarily involving the weather. The main one is the temperature has to be above 60 degrees. I don’t do cold. I don’t have a heat threshold. I like it hot. A 95-degree, humid Kentucky day, you say? No problem.
I will not mow in the rain. Unless, of course, I have a small patch left when the rain starts. I’ll finish that up and just get wet. Now, if there is lightning, I’m getting my ass in the damn house.
As with any talk of yard mowing, the subject of weed eating is bound to come up. I, under no circumstances, will operate a weed eater. Those things scare the hell out of me. I’m sure there are some that are suitable for a person my size, but the one my 6’2” husband has chosen to purchase is industrial. It is as tall as I am and weighs about as much. No, thank you. I’m also scared to death of that whirling string. I just know I would cut my leg off.
Yard mowing is a great way to commune with nature. What is better and more relaxing than driving in circles on a sunny day? The smell of the fresh cut grass is just a huge bonus. Allergies be damned.
So, as I prepare to pull my John Deere into the garage for the last time this season, I’m already looking forward to spring. While the last mowing of the yard makes me sad AF, the first one next year will be a glorious thing.
