I sighed when I saw it;
My brand new Cashmere Woods candle on the bathroom counter with the wax only partially burned.
One of the girls must have used it for bubble bath ambiance, but had blown it out too soon.
I’ve told them on repeat about the importance of how long you burn a candle at the very start.
I learned years ago at a PartyLite party that the very first time you light one you need to make sure they have a good, long burn.
You must allow the wax time to melt all the way to the outer edges, because if you only light it for a short time, only the center will melt, meaning that every time you light that candle after that, the melted wax will pool and follow that original, restricted pathway.
You won’t ever get the full life of your candle afterwards.
From that day on, you will only burn a divot straight down the middle,
leaving a large portion of the wax completely unburned.
All that perfectly good outside wax just wasted…
The first burn determines your end results.
Yet, there it sat with its double wicks looking at me like two disappointed eyeballs, as if it knew its fate from that day on.
I shook my head and almost apologized to it outloud, thinking,
“I’m sorry, Cashmere Woods.”
All day I thought about that candle for some reason.
It kept popping into my mind in image form;
Just a wasted candle on a bathroom counter that will now burn to the bottom in record time, when it could have lasted really long.
I went about my day, and took care of tasks at home, but then, what started as simple disappointment in my ruined candle turned into so much more –
My heart continued to spiral downward when I read news headlines and political reports,
and before long I felt completely weighted when I scrolled images of Hurricane Helene’s destruction on my phone.
For a moment on my couch this week it felt like there was no hope for us.
I set my phone aside and ached for all the people affected by such a tragedy, and for all that is happening in the world: The people hurting, the ones vilified, ones at the end of themselves in desperate need of support.
Some days it’s hard to keep believing in what we have built here.
Some days I just don’t feel like putting one foot in front of the other anymore.
The images and news stories before me brought a sense of fear that I’m not used to.
Fingers of Fear threatening to snuff out my candle:
The candle labeled “Hope.”
Fear’s fingers are at the ready these days,
Hovering, snuff one candle, look for more;
Just waiting for something new to be lit inside of us.
Our temptation will be to let fear win, and snuff the flame out instead of ever seeing the fullness of what could be; Instead of letting Hope burn.
It takes so much patience and courage to be melted down to our edges, doesn’t it?
Uncharted territory, what is new will always feel a bit worrisome to us.
But living to our fullest potential always requires burning to the outer edges.
It requires learning from the past, and championing for what is good.
It requires courage, and trust.
It requires pushing past that narrow center just because it is what was comfortable.
These days especially,
Hope requires a long-burn.
But we live in this moment for a purpose, and what lies in between our comfort and our outer edge as a people is SO MUCH.
So much potential to give, and to show up for one another;
To be the change we want to see in the world.
So much potential as human beings.
Don’t let Fear’s fingers snuff.
These days it feels like fear is exactly what the world around us wants.
Fear of what could happen.
Fear of change.
Fear of people who look and think differently than us.
I hope that from now on, when I feel fear trying to overwhelm me, I will think of how a candle best burns though, and I will remember that
When Hope is the candle,
Fear is what limits us.
Mom Outnumbered
Hi! My name is Kerri Green; Wife to Justin, and mother to four highly entertaining daughters -Alena, Chloe, Tessa, and Paige. I am an artist, a writer, a daycare provider, a lover of people, a believer that there is humor and beauty in all things, and the author of Mom Outnumbered; a blog about real family life, and my observations of it. My goal is to make people laugh, to be there for them when they cry, and most importantly, to let them know that they are not at all alone in this up and down world. I live with my family in Sebastopol California, and I am opening the window into our life. So welcome! Come in. Sit down. Just please don’t mind the mysterious wet spots.
