Father’s Day is the day set aside to recognize fathers and father figures and what they mean to the people they influence.
As far as the ranking of holidays, Mother’s Day is a solid number 5 right behind Easter. Father’s Day is a little down list at number 10, after Valentine’s Day and before Memorial Day. I’ll take it, Halloween beat us both.
Both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can have some complications, but this is from a father’s perspective.
Being a dad means being a role model, because your children are always watching and listening. Whether or not you are a good or bad role model is up to you. My dad was NOT a good role model in many ways. He did work hard and provided for his family He had a problem with alcohol, and one thing that can cause is not always treating your wife like you should.
Fortunately, Doris, my mom picked up the slack in every way. She might have to take a break on the couch with her brown paper bag, but when she was through, she was right back on it. I figured out pretty early that if I did most things opposite from how my dad did them, I would be ok.
Fathers, your sons learn how to treat women by watching how you treat your wife. Your daughters learn how they need to expect and deserve to be treated the same way. Treat you wife like you would want someone to treat your daughter.
If you are a divorced Father like I was at one time, you are still a father with the same responsibilities you had before the divorce. See your kids as much as you possibly can. Whatever happens between you and your wife, get past it. Quit being mad about it. It will be good for you as a person, and even better for you as a father. Do not bad mouth your ex, especially in front of your children, she is their mother and they love her. Go to their events, don’t stay away because your ex-wife is there. Don’t complain about child support, they are your children, support them.
The only statistic I could find says, 15% of U.S. fathers are stepfathers. That seems low to me but that might be because “I are one!” Being a stepfather is a rewarding job, but it is also a very challenging one. You have all the responsibility but none of the power. You might have to be prepared to love unconditionally for quite some time before you can ever expect anything to be reciprocated. But when it is, it is pretty awesome! To all you stepdads out there, hang in, even though it is hard, it’s really important, and remember YOU stepped up.
A sad statistic is, as many as 20% of families have an estranged child. I’ve been there and done that, and it is heartbreaking. You will try to change it in every way you can but sometimes it just doesn’t work. Sometimes it just takes time and that means you have to wait. If you are a person of faith, that means pray while you wait. I can tell you this, if and when they return it is truly “The return of the parodical son or daughter.” If you are not familiar with that story, you can read it in the Bible, Luke Chapter 15: verses 11-32. There is no feeling like it.
When I look back on this newsletter, I realize I’m in every category. This “Father” thing, as wonderful as it is, has made me even more tired than I thought I was!
Finally, not every man has the opportunity to be a father. That does not mean you cannot be a mentor to a young person that needs some care, attention, and advice. Someone that may not have a person in their corner, to cheer them on or to console them when they need it. Be on the lookout, check with organizations that help children or go to mentoring.org
Wherever you are in life I want to wish you a very happy Father’s Day.
