I love it that my daughter is adventurous and tries new things. Things I’m pretty sure she is going to hate, but she goes for it anyway. For the record I don’t tell her she is going to hate them, but as her mother, I know.
A weekend camping was her latest “new thing.” I was pretty sure this was not going to go well. There were 13 people planned for the trip and only three had camped before.
I’m not counting Josie as part of the three even though we did attempt to camp once when she was four. It was not fun. We lived in Wisconsin at the time and bought all the camping supplies. Yes. They were used once and now take up space in our basement. In our defense, the tent did come out a few times to be set up in the basement for Josie’s slumber parties. Hey, we’re fun parents.
The real trouble with the Wisconsin camping extravaganza was the mosquitos. If you are unaware, the mosquito is the state bird of Wisconsin. Those things are the size of a small aircraft. I have never witnessed anything like them.
I got up to pee once during the night. My legs got so eaten up, I look like someone had put out their cigarettes on them for at least three months. It was terrible.
The Travers are not campers.
Josie quickly discovered this on her excursion. As she put it, “everything that could go wrong, did.” Oh, my sweet little Poodle.
They first set up their camp in a forbidden zone and just as they got settled in, they were told they would have to move all their shit. Some food was accidentally left behind and this made everyone salty.
Of course, not everyone was pulling their weight. This always happens with large groups. Josie went to the trouble of cooking everyone’s breakfast only to be told by a bossy chick that she ate too much. Shit got real. Never get between Josie Traver and food. You will lose that battle every damn time. Josie set her straight and had that second breakfast quesadilla.
The worst part of the evening came when they were watching fireworks on a small island and a storm rolled in. It took two trips by boat to get everyone back to camp. According to Josie, the water was rough and it was raining sideways. Sideways rain is the worst, in my experience.
Once they got back to camp it was still storming. They decided “fuck this shit” at midnight and proceeded to pack up to get the hell out of there. Who can blame them?
Josie eventually got back to her apartment at 4 a.m. and crashed. Love her sweet heart.
She called the next day and told us the whole story. She asked if we had camped before and I reminded her of the one time in Wisconsin. She said, “Yeah, I remember that sucking too.” She was not wrong. We also had to pack up and leave early when a storm rolled in at 5 a.m. I know, I know. We are total weak-sauce. It is what it is.
Josie has sworn off camping, just as I did years ago. I need a bed and a toilet, folks. Cased closed.
I hope Josie doesn’t shy away from other adventures just because this one went so poorly. Fun can be had by trying new things. Camping just isn’t one of them.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
