Apparently, all I needed was a little shopping, Italian food, bagels and coffee, college football, good friends, family time, and a weekend pretending I was 21 again.
I’ve decided that sometimes you don’t need another wellness routine, or a new self-help book, nor do you always need a weekend spent organizing your entire life, or a Sunday dedicated to getting ahead for the week. Sometimes you just need to get out of town, spend time with people you love, eat really good food, laugh a lot, and pretend for a weekend that you’re back in college. No agenda, no productivity goals, no pressure to make every single thing meaningful. Just having fun for the sake of having fun. Remember when we used to do that?
This past weekend was Family Weekend at my oldest daughter’s college, and I have to say, whoever came up with the idea of inviting parents back to campus to relive their college years was onto something. We spent the weekend with family and friends, shopping, eating a delicious Italian dinner, grabbing bagels and coffee, visiting college hangout spots, tailgating, watching the football game, and getting a glimpse into the lives our kids are building away from home. There were frat parties with bands and DJs, plenty of laughs, and a whole lot of pretending we were still in our twenties.
Can we talk about how funny it is to have your own children showing YOU where to go out? She even made the dinner reservations for Friday night.
These are the same kids we taught to walk, ride bikes, tie their shoes, and look both ways before crossing the street. The kids whose social calendars we managed for years, driving them to birthday parties, sleepovers, school dances, and sporting events. Now they’re showing us their favorite college hangouts, introducing us to their friends, and giving us a tour of their social lives. Somewhere along the way, the roles have reversed, and we’re the ones asking where everyone goes and what’s happening next.
There’s also something hilarious about being a parent in your 40’s at a college party. In your head, you’re still 21, or at least 25. You know the music ( yep, they love our music from the 80’s,90’s, and early aughts,) you remember the excitement of getting ready to go out with your friends, and for a few hours, you genuinely feel like you could still hang with the college crowd. It was also hilarious you could see all the parents taking pictures of the crowds too.
I loved the energy of being back on a college campus, the excitement of a football weekend, and the feeling of having absolutely nowhere else we needed to be. I loved shopping, sitting down for a nice dinner, and starting the morning with bagels and coffee. I loved spending time with friends and family, laughing about things that probably wouldn’t be nearly as funny to anyone else, and making new memories together. It was the kind of weekend where you aren’t constantly checking the clock or mentally running through everything waiting for you at home.
I think we forget how much we need weekends like this, especially in midlife. So much of our time is spent managing schedules, working, taking care of our families, keeping up with our homes, and trying to squeeze in a little time for ourselves. Even our weekends can start to feel like an extension of the workweek, with errands, laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning, and a never-ending list of things that need to get done before Monday. Somewhere along the way, having fun becomes something we have to schedule, and spontaneity starts to feel like a luxury.
I’m not talking about the kind of fun that needs to be turned into a wellness practice. We don’t need to discuss how laughter lowers stress or how social connection benefits our nervous systems. I know I talk about those things all the time, and I believe in them, but sometimes I think we need to stop explaining why something is good for us and just enjoy it. We don’t need a scientific reason to spend an afternoon shopping with our daughters, eat pasta with friends, or cheer at a football game. Sometimes having fun is reason enough.
The Strange and Wonderful Experience of Being a College Parent
One of the things I’ve been thinking about since my oldest daughter left for college is how fast time goes. For 18 years, you’re involved in almost every part of their daily lives. You know their schedules, their friends, what they’re eating for dinner, and whether they’ve remembered to bring a jacket. Then all of a sudden, they’re living somewhere else, making their own decisions, establishing their own routines, and building a life that doesn’t revolve around the family calendar.
It’s a strange adjustment, especially when you’re still parenting another teenager at home. You’re living in two different stages of motherhood at the same time, helping one child navigate high school while learning how to give another the independence that comes with college. Some days it feels like you’re constantly switching between two completely different parenting roles. One still needs rides and reminders, while the other is figuring out life on her own.
What I loved about this weekend was getting to see a little more of that independent life. There’s something really special about watching your child become comfortable in a new environment, make friends, find favorite places, and create memories that are entirely their own. You spend so many years preparing them for independence, and then one day you’re standing on their college campus, watching it happen right in front of you.
As much as I miss having my oldest daughter home, I also love seeing her experience this chapter of her life. College is such a unique time, and I want her to enjoy it, make memories, meet people, try new things, and have stories she’ll still be telling years from now. I also love that we’re getting to experience a little bit of it with her.
There’s something about being around college students that brings back memories of your own younger years, too. The excitement of a football weekend, getting ready with your friends, figuring out where everyone is going that night, and having very few responsibilities beyond making it to class on Monday. Of course, I’m remembering all of this through the very selective lens of nostalgia.
Would I want to be 21 again? Absolutely not.
Would I like to occasionally borrow the carefree energy of being 21 for a weekend? Absolutely.
I love my life as a mom, and I love the different chapters that come with getting older, but I also think it’s important to remember that we’re still people outside of our responsibilities. We still have personalities, friendships, interests, and things we enjoy that have absolutely nothing to do with being someone’s mother or keeping a household running. We can be responsible adults who pay bills, worry about our kids, and have a million things on our to-do lists, and still want to go out and have a really good time.
Those two things can exist together.
Now it’s Monday morning and back to the daily grind and work, I kept thinking about how much I enjoyed doing something different. I very rarely go out anymore, not even out to dinner. Sometimes life just gets really busy then by evening time on a free night I am too tired to get ready to even go out. But over the weekend, it was a reminder that life doesn’t always have to revolve around what needs to be accomplished next, there will always be another load of laundry, another email, another deadline, and another Monday morning waiting for us. The grocery shopping will still need to get done, and the calendar will probably be just as full when we get home. Sometimes it’s worth putting all of that aside for a couple of days and enjoying the people and experiences right in front of you.
I’m starting to realize in this stage of life, I’m watching my kids grow into young adults, but I am also getting opportunities to rediscover parts of myself that have taken a back seat during the busiest years of raising them. I get to make new memories with them while remembering what it felt like to be their age.
So yes, apparently I wasn’t sad. I just needed a college weekend, some shopping, a big Italian dinner, bagels and coffee, tailgating, football, family, friends, and a few hours of pretending I was 21 again.
Although, if we’re being completely accurate, I think I’ll keep my current age, my own bed, and my appreciation for a quiet Sunday evening.
Nikki Lanigan
Nikki Lanigan is a yoga, HIIT, and Barre instructor, she is also a Holistic Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Nikki is trained in Yoga Shred, Yoga Psychology, meditation, chakra balancing, and EFT/Tapping. She has done trainings with Sadie Nardini and Ashley Turner. She got her 200 hour yoga teacher training in 2017 at the Carrie Treister School Of Yoga. Nikki takes a holistic view of health, helping her students and clients reach a place of self-love not just through movement, but with mindset and lifestyle guidance as well. Nikki is also show prep writer for The McVay Media Show Prep and host of the podcast Fit, Fun, and Frazzled. Connect with Nikki on Instagram. www.instagram.com/nikkilanigan.yogaandwellness www.instagram.com/fitfunandfrazzledpodcast
