The family wanted ice cream,
so my daughter Tessa and I walked into the store to choose some.
That’s when I noticed him –
A homeless man huddled under a sleeping bag
up against the front of the store.
Hair uncombed.
Face dirty and drawn.
Beside him sat one small paper bag.
Unable to just walk by without thinking what it must be like to be him outside in this frigid cold,
I softly asked Tessa what if before we picked out any ice cream, we bought him some warm food first?
She and I had fun thinking up a good-sounding meal as we stood at the hot bar.
We got him a big bottle of water, and smiled as we even chose some dessert.
I could see Tessa’s excitement growing in the anticipation of giving.
Excitement to see the look on his face.
Of all my kids she loves giving gifts most.
After purchasing our items,
we approached him sitting there in his dark corner.
Once we reached him, even though inches away, he did not lift his eyes.
“We thought maybe something warm to eat might sound good to you, Sir,” I said,
but, instead of thanks,
the man simply shook his head no.
“Are you sure?” I asked. “Maybe just some dessert?”
(Surely no one would turn down dessert)
Still he refused.
Still he kept looking down.
“I have enough,” came his surprising reply.
“I would really love to give this to you,”
I offered once more,
but again he told me “No. I have enough.”
I said OK, and bid him a good night with a bewildered smile, and we climbed back into our car, now holding an entire hot meal, drink, and dessert that we didn’t need.
Tessa was quiet at first, and I started the car questioning who I was to judge what was truly “enough” for someone else.
This is when Tessa asked, sounding frustrated, why that man would have refused what we were offering.
I reached out for her hand realizing her feelings had been kind of hurt, and she was left feeling more than a bit confused.
That is when I got the opportunity to teach this child, who so loves giving gifts,
and opinions,
and her whole self –
This child whom lately has felt pushed to the edge of her friend groups,
and has struggled to know where exactly she fits –
The one that longs for her own best friend –
that often times people won’t want what we have to offer them,
but that we are not required to do anything more than offer it.
That we tried to give is OUR “enough.”
Whether warm food or our own selves.
I handed her the bags and told her not to worry.
“Someone will want it.”
I hoped that she realized that I meant her,
as well.
I thought about how important it is at this time of year to remember that maybe what we have to offer feels like it keeps getting turned down, too.
Maybe who we are just never feels like it’s the exact right fit
by a family member we wish would love us differently,
by that person that we struggle to know;
But what matters most isn’t if what we offer those we are trying to love gets accepted,
but that we even offered ourself,
and our love, and our gifts to those who are around us at all.
Mom Outnumbered
Hi! My name is Kerri Green; Wife to Justin, and mother to four highly entertaining daughters -Alena, Chloe, Tessa, and Paige. I am an artist, a writer, a daycare provider, a lover of people, a believer that there is humor and beauty in all things, and the author of Mom Outnumbered; a blog about real family life, and my observations of it. My goal is to make people laugh, to be there for them when they cry, and most importantly, to let them know that they are not at all alone in this up and down world. I live with my family in Sebastopol California, and I am opening the window into our life. So welcome! Come in. Sit down. Just please don’t mind the mysterious wet spots.
