I have two daughters and I want to lead by example but sometimes I even fall in the trap of social media and comparing myself to what I see online.
Whether you are comparing yourself to the CEO’s you see online or in real life, a spotless home, perfectly well-behaved kids all nicely dressed, families that are always on vacation posts we need to remind ourselves these are the highlight reels, the best of the best pictures people are posting.
Your inner critic is actually the negative self-talk you use to discourage yourself. This can include anything from personal attacks on yourself (like feelings of self-loathing, name calling, and criticism) to judgment. Negative self-talk may negatively affect your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
I have been exploring the importance of quieting our inner critic and embracing self-compassion and showing ourselves kindness as a powerful tool for personal growth and well-being.
Just like the saying we need to put on our oxygen mask first, we need to implement these tools for ourselves then pass this onto our kids and help them to be kind to themselves too.
If you wouldn’t say something to a friend, family member, or loved one why do you say it to yourself? This is something I say regularly to my kids and to myself.
HOW TO QUIET YOUR INNER CRITIC: 1. Recognize the Inner Critic: The first step to being kinder to ourselves is to recognize the presence of our inner critic. This critical voice is often fueled by fear, past experiences, or societal expectations. Identifying this voice allows us to separate ourselves from it and acknowledge that it doesn’t define our true worth or potential.
2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Once we identify our inner critic, it’s essential to challenge the negative self-talk it perpetuates. Replace harsh thoughts with positive affirmations and constructive feedback. Treat yourself as you would a friend, offering encouragement and support.
3. Embrace Imperfections: Nobody is perfect, and that’s perfectly okay! Embracing our imperfections and acknowledging that making mistakes is a natural part of life can relieve us from unnecessary pressure. Allow room for growth and learning from setbacks rather than being overly critical of yourself.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness. Instead of beating ourselves up over failures, we should extend compassion and empathy towards our own struggles. Remember, we are human, and we all face obstacles along the way.
5. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Shift your perspective from seeking perfection to celebrating progress. Every step forward, no matter how small, is an achievement worth recognizing. Acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how insignificant they may seem.
6. Set Realistic Goals: Setting unrealistic goals can set us up for disappointment and self-criticism. Instead, set achievable and meaningful goals that align with your values and aspirations. Celebrate your accomplishments as you make progress toward those objectives.
7. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Care: Mindfulness and self-care play a crucial role in quieting the inner critic. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Be present in the moment, focusing on the positive aspects of your life and nurturing a sense of gratitude.
8. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences: The people we surround ourselves with can greatly impact our self-perception. Seek out supportive and encouraging people who uplift and inspire you. Distance yourself from those who constantly bring you down or perpetuate negativity.
9. Positive Affirmations: Affirmations are positive statements about ourselves based on a positive self-perception. And to encourage positive thoughts and outcomes, you need to constantly affirm yourself. When creating affirmations, make sure to use only positive language and the present tense. I practice daily affirmations. Every. Single. Day.
10. Practice Mindfulness Meditation: Another strategy to quiet your inner critic involves mindfulness meditation. Meditation can help calm your mind and body while focusing on the present. It allows you to become aware of your thoughts the deepest emotions and observe them without judging.
11. Journaling: Different studies have proven the therapeutic benefits of journaling. Writing your thoughts down can help recognize and clarify the negative self-thoughts. Labeling our thoughts activates our emotional regulation.
Nikki Lanigan
Nikki Lanigan is a yoga, HIIT, and Barre instructor, she is also a Holistic Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Nikki is trained in Yoga Shred, Yoga Psychology, meditation, chakra balancing, and EFT/Tapping. She has done trainings with Sadie Nardini and Ashley Turner. She got her 200 hour yoga teacher training in 2017 at the Carrie Treister School Of Yoga. Nikki takes a holistic view of health, helping her students and clients reach a place of self-love not just through movement, but with mindset and lifestyle guidance as well. Nikki is also show prep writer for The McVay Media Show Prep and host of the podcast Fit, Fun, and Frazzled. Connect with Nikki on Instagram. www.instagram.com/nikkilanigan.yogaandwellness www.instagram.com/fitfunandfrazzledpodcast
