In a recent session with my therapist, he said, “I like our sessions, Angela. You put in the work.” This perplexed me. Do people pay this much for therapy and not put in the work? Apparently so, according to my doc. Crazy. Ha! See what I did there?
This got me thinking about what price people are willing to pay to just have someone to listen to them bitch. It seems like this number is pretty high. Don’t get me wrong, I think there is great value in having someone to vent to, but couldn’t that be a friend? I have several wonderful people in my life who are kind enough to listen to me complain. They often offer up very sage advice. However, I go to my therapist when I want some concrete steps on how to improve my shit. When he provides those, I strive to heed his advice. He is generally spot on.
I suppose this speaks to the value of having a good therapist you connect with and trust. This brings me back to my original point: why pay someone you don’t trust to make your life better? Or the flip of that question, why pay someone and not follow their advice? Isn’t it all just throwing money away?
I’m not saying I always listen to my therapist. Who does that? We are all set in our ways and have various karma we have to overcome. I get that. I also know therapy isn’t cheap. I want the most bang for my buck and to ultimately improve myself while becoming happier. My doc went to school for this. I have to think he knows something I don’t.
As I pondered this question further, it made me think about just throwing away money in general. Lord knows I’m guilty of that. So, is not listening to your therapist really any worse than my buying countless items from Amazon that I could live without? Nope. I guess not.
This creates a much bigger and harder question. How does one logically place a value on all things and not throw money away in general? This is not my strong suit. I seriously need to work on this. I spend too much money on shoes, wine and impulse purchases, for sure. But I’ve never regretted a penny spent on travel, books or art. Therapy, too. I’ve never regretted therapy and I’ve been doing that most of my adult life.
I guess it’s all about priorities and self-control. Neither of those are very fun or sexy action items. I need to be better at addressing both. I suppose this brings us back to the work. Putting in the work is exhausting. Adulting is just fucking hard. Yet, here I am. Here we all are, just trying to do our best. Therapy does help—if you put in the work.
I’ve said pretty much of my entire adult life, we all need therapy at some point in our lives. The question is whether or not we get it. There is no shame in therapy. Mental health is as important as physical health.
At the end of the day, the real question is, “Will you put in the work?” For me, the answer is yes. I want to be the best possible person I can be for the people in my life, and just as importantly, for me. So, in a month I’ll go back and report on my work and get a new list of action items. That is the thing about self-improvement, the work never ends. Oh, and it’s also not cheap.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
