Maybe it has already been tried,
and whether it would work, I don’t know;
But
Should we try putting 2020 in a bag of rice?
This week has been extra intense.
So intense that with each new thing that comes along, my 11 year old has shouted out what level she thinks we’ve reached in a deep, video game sounding voice.
We are currently nearly through Level Four.
We got in a car accident this week.
A guy pulled across two lanes of traffic seemingly just to hit the side of our van.
He drove off quickly afterwards around a corner and into the far side of a parking lot.
He would later insist it was just him trying to find a good place for us to talk, but
it looked a whole lot like a hit and run attempt to me.
Basically – It walked like a duck.
But I’ve had four toddlers, and also three dogs.
I’ve learned to track down things that try to run from me.
I’m a professional, Sir.
I should have tried prying something from his mouth just to complete the experience.
I am now driving a van that squeals when it is put in reverse,
and makes a grinding sound with every right turn.
Quite literally how 2020 seems to roll.
A van that I drove to the feed store a couple of days later for rabbit food,
where I got in line behind a woman asking to speak with the manager.
When the manager arrived, the woman loudly laid into her asking WHO exactly had set the policy of requiring that masks be worn in the store.
A huge scene ensued with the woman demanding an email address where she could send her “multiple documents on the inefficiency of masks” and her pounding her fists on the counter to punctuate every word, as the manager calmly looked on.
The 200 pound dog the woman held on a leash paced wildly behind her, I assumed distressed by his current roommate situation, as the woman began to curse.
With salmon treats in one hand and a leash in the other, she screamed up to the sky that if ANYONE tried telling HER to wear a mask she would NEVER return to that store,
and this is when my 11 year old turned to me and asked a question I think on everyone’s mind:
“Um…..Is that supposed to make any of us feel sad?”
Merely wanting to purchase my flipping rabbit pellets and return to sipping my lukewarm Americano in my car, instead of being forced to attend some kind of rights rally next to the flea treatment,
this is when I finally spoke up.
“Actually Maam, the governor just mandated this week that masks be worn by everyone in public.
It is not just this store.”
That is when that woman who had just involved at least a good ⅛ of a mile of west coast area in her quibble spun on one heel and pointed at me and screamed,
“I DON’T REMEMBER INVOLVING YOU, B****! Bleep YOU! Bleep YOU, YOU STUPID B****!”
But, oh friends,
I had been involved.
Thankfully Jesus reminded me that good Christian girls do not attack people with giant femur bones and Braveheart cries and remain good witnesses,
so I just stood there cudding my rabbit pellets and smiling like Jack Nicholsen behind my mask.
Not only did that woman have no idea how many karate sparring matches I have attended and made detailed notes of,
but that was the last straw for that feed store,
as well.
They corralled that red-faced lady, and ushered her out, and told her never to return, before they apologized to me for it all.
But the only thing I needed happened when I left the store,
and I spotted that woman still in her car.
I lifted my mask and I gave her a smile,
and then I climbed into my crumpled van.
I left both negative things this week still with a spring in my step
because circumstances – They don’t control me.
The outside of my van may be trashed,
but, like my life, my view from inside is still good.
I smile even under a mask.
At the end of the day who would I rather be?
A woman who even a kid thinks is absurd?
Or would I rather be a woman who can hold my head high and smiles through every
scraping right turn?
This article was written by a guest blogger. The opinions expressed here are those of the writer and do not reflect the opinions of Bob Lacey, Sheri Lynch or the Bob & Sheri show.
Mom Outnumbered
Hi! My name is Kerri Green; Wife to Justin, and mother to four highly entertaining daughters -Alena, Chloe, Tessa, and Paige. I am an artist, a writer, a daycare provider, a lover of people, a believer that there is humor and beauty in all things, and the author of Mom Outnumbered; a blog about real family life, and my observations of it. My goal is to make people laugh, to be there for them when they cry, and most importantly, to let them know that they are not at all alone in this up and down world. I live with my family in Sebastopol California, and I am opening the window into our life. So welcome! Come in. Sit down. Just please don’t mind the mysterious wet spots.
