From Books to Blogs #3
(Prompt from: 3001 Questions All About Me)
The question I landed on after a random flip and a finger twirl was #2163:
“When’s the last time I held a lighter? What were the circumstances?”
At first glance, it feels ordinary—maybe even forgettable. But as I’ve learned, even the simplest questions can open a door.
The last time I held a lighter was last Wednesday morning, right before a client session. It’s part of a ritual I’ve done for years now, cleansing the space before and after each session, not just for my clients, but for myself. The act is small, but sacred.
I lit the lighter to burn White Sage, but not in the way many might picture.
I prefer not to burn sage in bundles.
Instead, I use clippings from my father’s sage plant—he brings them to me, and I dry them myself. I place them in a small ceramic dish, strike the lighter, and hold the flame just long enough to ignite the dried leaves. Then I blow it out and let the smoke take over.
With the smoke rising, I slowly wave it through the room, thinking quietly but clearly:
“I cleanse and clear this space of all negativity.”
It’s not just words—it’s intention.
It’s a resetting of energy.
A line drawn between what was and what’s about to begin.
Once the sage has done its work—clearing and releasing—I follow it with Palo Santo, allowing the soft, sweet scent to relax and ground the space.
Sage to clear.
Palo Santo to soothe.
It struck me as I held that lighter: this isn’t just a step in preparation—it’s a ceremony. A gesture of respect to the work being done. A signal to the space, to myself, and to whatever might be ready to move or heal.
But just a few days before that, I thought I was going to use the lighter for something much less ceremonial—birthday candles.
I had bought a bundt cake for my husband, lovingly placed the two candles matching his age, and was ready for the classic celebration moment. I turned to him and asked,
“Do you want them lit?”
Without hesitation, he said, “No.”
Then he proceeded to slice into the cake and eat it.
No song. No spark. Just straight to dessert.
That lighter didn’t even get a chance.
It made me laugh then—and again now—as I reflect on how differently we use, or choose not to use, the same simple object. One moment it’s part of a deeply spiritual practice. Another, it’s casually bypassed in favor of cake.
So yes, the question was about a lighter.
But it could have easily asked:
“When was the last time you lit intention on fire?”
“When did you last transform a space—or a moment—with the simplest of tools?”
And now I’m wondering:
When was the last time you held a lighter?
Was it for a ritual, a celebration, or something in between?
Because even the ordinary can carry meaning—when we pause long enough to notice.
Thanks for being here. If you enjoyed this post, there’s plenty more where that came from, everything from soulful healing tips to playful prompts and real conversations about life.
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Website: www.flexiblebeing.com
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@theresamartinezshapiro
@flexiblebeing
Email: theresa@flexiblebeing.com
Empowering Your Journey to Healing, Clarity, and Self-Discovery.
Theresa Martinez-Shapiro
Hello! I am Theresa Martinez-Shapiro; Wife to Robert. Founder of Flexible Being. A Master Reiki Therapist, Certified Oracle Guide, Spiritual Mentor/Guide, Intuitive Empath, Coach, and Educator. I am a fur mom to 3 cats and 1 dog – Sonny, Patches, Ryelee, and Winnie. We currently live and practice in Stockton, California. We operate three businesses – Shapiro Holistic Health and Chiropractic, Fusion Health APC, and Synergy Health MSO, where we seek to improve and change the lives of our patients and those we have the privilege of crossing paths with. My healing and mentoring journey began around 5 years old when I discovered that I was put on this planet to help others. I knew I was different, unique, and gifted. I did not see the world the same way everyone else did, and recognized I was meant to do so much more. I began to research, spending a lot of time reading & asking a lot of questions to anyone that wanted to share stories about their life experiences. I am a dreamer and had a unique relationship with the dream world. My very real, vivid & lucid dreams began turning into out-of-body experiences and unexplained occurrences. I began doing my own dream interpretations to look for patterns & a new way of deciphering life. Family members were part of many different religions, so I was educated in Catholicism, Buddhism, Metaphysics, and Native American culture & beliefs. Along the way, I took up multiple mentors that cultivated my growth and expansion of my gifts, allowing me to focus on my potential and purpose. As an adult, coworkers were unloading their life stories, internal secrets, and things that had not been shared or even spoken out loud. I began to share those experiences with my aunt & Reiki Master/Teacher, Carmen. In 2012, Carmen told me, “I think you are ready to walk the path I always knew you were meant to walk”. That saying began my obsessive journey into Reiki, Spirituality, Psychology, Intuition and Psychic gifts, Meditation and Mindfulness, Past Lives, Consciousness, Energy Medicine, Mysteries of the Universe, Moon and Sun cycles, Astrology, Numerology, Oracle Cards, Shamanism, & so much more. My journey has helped me to assist patients, clients, families, and friends discover who they have been, who they are, and who they want to become. I am expanding my reach and educating others by authoring Musings of a Flexible Being, and I look forward to sharing my journey with you. Thank you! Theresa Martinez-Shapiro Flexible Being Website: www.flexiblebeing.com Socials: Facebook: @flexiblebeingonline Instagram:@theresamartinezshapiro Instagram: @flexiblebeing
