My mom has told me the most hilarious story.
It is truly one for the record books:
She was asked by her friend, who uses a wheelchair, if she could come over and drive her in her handicapped access van to a doctor’s appointment.
My mom, of course, said “Yes.” She is always one for helping a friend out.
When they pulled up at the doctor’s office, there were no other cars near.
They got out, and went in.
When they returned to the parking lot after the appointment,
her friend went to the passenger side, and my mom went to the driver’s side, ready to drive her friend back home again.
On the way to her door, she extended the handicapped ramp for her friend to get in.
For some reason, her own door was not unlocking, however, so she kept pushing the clicker,
not understanding what the problem was with it.
She started calling out to her friend, still pushing the clicker, telling her the door wouldn’t open for her, and asking what to do about it.
When her friend responded that it had worked for unlocking her door, and releasing the ramp, though, her voice sounded distant, making my mom ask, “Where are you?” as she craned to look into the van.
Her friend called back, (though still weirdly muffled)
“I’m sitting in the van! Where are YOU?!”
My mom called back, “I’m still standing by the door! I can’t see you! Are you on the floor? Are you OK? I can’t see you in there!”
My mom said for some reason she pictured her friend sprawled face down, having fallen out of her chair. Her voice sounded so muffled, her mind told her this was the only plausible reason.
She was on her tiptoes trying to crane to look into every corner of the van.
She was still pushing all the buttons, with no luck.
She simply could not get in.
After her frantic button pushing, however, her friend called out that now she had locked her inside of the van.
For quite awhile this went on:
Her calling and clicking, unable to open the driver’s door, her friend calling out, muffled like she was inside of a tunnel, until suddenly my mom realized the problem.
There was a wave of embarrassment.
While they had been in the doctor’s office, an identical van had pulled into the very next parking space as theirs.
While she was at the driver’s door of the wrong van on the left,
her friend had gone to the passenger side of the correct van on the right.
They were separated by two car widths.
They laughed so hard when they realized it, and laughed extra hard about the part of the story where her friend had revealed that one of the most confusing parts was when
she had been on the ramp, ascending, and my mom had pushed the button WHILE SHE WAS ON IT to retract the ramp.
She had to hurry and make it inside like she was in the Temple of Doom,
and then the moment she had skidded inside,
my mom had promptly locked her in.
She was probably second-guessing her choice of friends to take her to that appointment.
Who needs enemies when you have a friend who confines you without the possibility of air or escape to the back of a van?
They have laughed about this for days now:
Just two stooges at a podiatry appointment.
Mom Outnumbered
Hi! My name is Kerri Green; Wife to Justin, and mother to four highly entertaining daughters -Alena, Chloe, Tessa, and Paige. I am an artist, a writer, a daycare provider, a lover of people, a believer that there is humor and beauty in all things, and the author of Mom Outnumbered; a blog about real family life, and my observations of it. My goal is to make people laugh, to be there for them when they cry, and most importantly, to let them know that they are not at all alone in this up and down world. I live with my family in Sebastopol California, and I am opening the window into our life. So welcome! Come in. Sit down. Just please don’t mind the mysterious wet spots.
