I miss the days when kids went places where I wasn’t
I miss it today extra bad
They huff and they sigh and they eat all the cream cheese
And I wish just ONCE they would go ask their dad
Just….Why do they open cereal boxes this way?
Why do they spit toothpaste on the sink?
Have they learned nothing?
Do I exist?
I’m like their canine companion, I think.
What did I say?
I said it three times
And
Do I make myself clear?
Moms’ voices like they come from Horton’s Who Flower
“We are here!
We are here!
We are here!”
Like Hungry Caterpillars they’ve eaten through the last hundred plus days
There is nothing that their jaws have missed
Before quarantine I thought I knew where the Wild Things are
But I’ve never known wild like THIS
Frankly, I am surprised that our walls are still standing
With the way that these people eat
I’m surprised they’ve not taken bites out of the sheetrock
I’m surprised we’re not now living on the street
A whole deck of Uno cards just shoved under the rug
That is how they clean up
With my dying breath I fear I will still beg them to
Please not dirty one more cup
I don’t even know when they last bathed
The back of my eight year old’s head is a nest
Whether or not we will ever reintegrate
Is really anyone’s guess
And, by the way
I’ve decided to homeschool
Catch me and my long knotted rope
Classes on 90’s rap lyrics, and a course on Netflix binge
“The next generation. Our only hope.”
And my teacher fashion?
Feel free to pin
I just woke up like this
With the dewy skin glow of forgetting to wash my face
After clicking “Yes I’m still watching” once again
The days have all blurred
I barely know the month
Did I miss a holiday?
It was just April and now the leaves have near turned
What even happened to May?
I, like a blind mole
Squint in the sun
Whenever I walk out to my car
My voice sounds wistful and ancient as I muse,
“I remember places that were far.”
And remember babysitters?
Those epic queens
Let’s give them the praise they were due
$10 per hour?!
I’d sell an organ now
-Just between me and you-
Remember lipstick that people could see?
Remember curling your hair?
Now I avoid even looking at the mirror
Ignorance is bliss all up in there
I miss licking my finger to open a produce bag
I miss people standing close to me
I miss not caring where something has been
I miss my kids in school ‘till 3:00.
So Ode to restaurants
Ode to movie popcorn
Ode to hugs and a bare-hand high-five
And a *very* cautious Ode to school year ‘20-’21
Where I try to teach savages and survive
This article was written by a guest blogger. The opinions expressed here are those of the writer and do not reflect the opinions of Bob Lacey, Sheri Lynch or the Bob & Sheri show.
Mom Outnumbered
Hi! My name is Kerri Green; Wife to Justin, and mother to four highly entertaining daughters -Alena, Chloe, Tessa, and Paige. I am an artist, a writer, a daycare provider, a lover of people, a believer that there is humor and beauty in all things, and the author of Mom Outnumbered; a blog about real family life, and my observations of it. My goal is to make people laugh, to be there for them when they cry, and most importantly, to let them know that they are not at all alone in this up and down world. I live with my family in Sebastopol California, and I am opening the window into our life. So welcome! Come in. Sit down. Just please don’t mind the mysterious wet spots.
