Sing in the Car. Dance in the Kitchen.

My mom’s favorite piece of advice was, “Do as I say, not as I do”.  All things considered with my mom, that was pretty solid counsel.

My hope is that I don’t often have to tell my daughter, Conley, to do as I say rather than as I do. And, I also know how lucky I am to have a daughter who teaches me. She has taught me patience and vulnerability and individuality. Since I’ve become her mom, I’ve learned that a perfect Friday night consists of popcorn and pajamas and that breakfast for dinner makes us insanely happy.

Here are some of the things that I hope she hears me say and sees me do.

• Very few people, if anyone, can make sateen work.
• Don’t ever say “whatever”, especially while simultaneously rolling your eyes, to your father.
• Pet dogs.
• Make loyal friends. Hold on to them.
• Your feelings are just destinations. You don’t live there.
• Classic styles have earned that reputation for a reason.
• Everyone has an awkward stage, yours will pass.
• Read. Read. Read.
• Trust your gut.
• Some movies must be seen on a giant screen.
• It is cool to be quirky.
• College isn’t for everyone.
• Watch your preposition placement.
• Please never drink and drive or get into a car with someone who has been drinking. We will always come pick you up.
• Learn how to tell a good story.
• Don’t peak in high school.
• The numbers on your end of grade tests, the SAT nor a scale will ever determine your self-worth.
• Love is love is love.
• Believe science and facts.
• Be kind. Even to those who don’t return your kindness. They are usually the ones who need it the most.
• Be passionate. Apathy is the worst.
• Smile only when you want to smile (or when I’m telling you to do so for a picture).
• When you’ve made a mistake – apologize.
• You’re going to fail. It’s ok.
• You are from the House of Lewis and not the House of Wales – you are not a princess.
• Look up at the moon.
• Sit with the lonely kid.
• Don’t smoke cigarettes.
• Never be house poor.
• Sing in the car. Dance in the kitchen.
• Sex is not shameful. It should be fun and enjoyable but it is also a big responsibility.
• Hugs have healing powers.
• Mountains and oceans should always take your breath away.
• Love books, plays, movies, books, fashion, sports and trout fishing, turkey hunting and campfires.
• Embrace your unique name. You are named after some of the finest women in the world.
• Everyone is weird.
• You are never alone.
• If you’re going to wear heels, know how to walk in them. Drunken baby giraffe is never a good look.
• Save your money but every now and then – splurge.
• Nourish you body, mind and soul.
• Sometimes the memory is better than the picture.
• Fight for the underdogs and welcome the misfits.
• You are walking a fine line when it comes to addiction. Please be careful.
• Never, ever wear clear heels.
• Quality over quantity.
• Know the difference between confidence and arrogance.
• You can always hold your mama’s hand.
• Getting married is not an accomplishment.
• Say hello, thank you and you’re welcome.
• Learn how to check your oil and change a flat tire.
• Real strength lies in vulnerability.
• Looking presentable is never a crime.
• Travel.
• Learn how to make a good grilled cheese and how to grill a medium rare ribeye.
• Check your privilege – often.
• Proper hygiene is not an option.
• Work.
• If you’re gonna curse, do it properly and with chutzpah.
• Don’t take yourself too seriously.
• Develop a large vocabulary but don’t use it to make others feel small.
• Sunglasses and sunscreen are your friends.
• Never pass up on opportunity to tell someone that you love them.
• Give your seat to an elder.
• Be adventurous.
• Pay your bills.
• Do your part to care for the planet.
• Tattoos are great, but don’t get a dumb one.
• Stay true to yourself. You are absolutely incredible – trust me.
• Appreciate table manners.
• Hangovers hurt.
• We will love you unconditionally, but we would really appreciate it if you don’t, and I really can’t stress this enough, become a Republican.

Soshally Awkward

Sosha Lewis is a writer whose work has been featured in The Washington Post, Huffington Post, MUTHA Magazine and The Charlotte Observer. She writes about her sometimes wild, sometimes hilarious, sometimes heartbreaking past filled with free-lunches, a grimy sports bar, a six foot tall Albino woman who tried to save her teenage soul, felonious, drug addicted parents, an imaginary friend named Blueberry and growing up nestled in the coal-dusted mountains of West Virginia.