In Responsibility and Weight of the World, I shared the story about M, who was feeling distressed over our current state of the world, was seeking how to not feel so much, and ways to ease her physical and emotional symptoms. I am continuing her story and sharing some of the solutions given during our consultation.
I spent about 30-45min with M. having an open conversation when she asked about my services and prices. I gave some examples of the tools that could be used to ease her struggles. When we came to the topic of price per session, M. began to explain that through her recent challenges and the lack of her insurance covering certain services, she had to come out of pocket for services that were not within her budget. I understood her position. We are finishing the month of love, so I wanted to provide her with some tools she could begin that day, on her own, when needed, free of charge.
I am feeling so many different things, how can I NOT feel so much? During my conversation with M., it was clear that she is an Empath, someone that is attuned to the feelings and emotions of others around them. Empaths have been called “sponges” in how they navigate the world around them. I have discovered that there is a difference between having empathy vs. being a person that, in some cases, takes on full burdens/challenges/to some illnesses from others. It is natural for us to want to do all we can to ease and heal others, but if we aren’t aware, it can do more harm than good. A mentor once told me, “Being an Empath can be both a gift and a curse. We come along, sense a need to help, then want to take away or ease the burden of another, not focusing on the ways it can hurt the one taking on that burden.” The newly less burdened individual feels better. The empath feels good for doing a “good deed,” but do this too often, and the empath goes into overload. As I shared this, M. nodded, saying, “That has been happening. How can that be changed?” I continued with, sometimes we need to question our environment and feelings. We must ask ourselves, “Where is all this coming from? Do I have a reason to feel the way I do? Is it possible what I am feeling isn’t mine? Am I pulling these emotions or physical symptoms from outside myself?”
In times of stress and unease, we also tend to get disconnected from our bodies. It is important to reconnect. How do we do that? M. has studied Reiki and achieved two out of the three degrees. I asked if she was doing Self Reiki. When it was said that she hadn’t been, I asked if she was doing any other activities for Self-care. I asked how much she had been putting herself out there. Perhaps it has been too much. Perhaps she isn’t saying “no” enough, giving too much of herself away, then is left feeling drained. Sometimes we need to hold ourselves back, isolate, reserve our resources, and set better boundaries. In those moments of feeling drained, it is helpful to ask yourself, “How much of my power is being given away to people and situations? We need to be able to say “no” to what doesn’t feel right. We need to be a little selfish at times. We need to start taking care of ourselves before others. I hear people say, “That is selfish.” I say, “Yes it is, but necessary.” Many people are self-less and often experience burnout when they care for everyone else before themselves. I say, “You cannot help/do if you are pouring from an empty cup.” How empty or full is your cup? I thought of the instructions given in airplane travel, “put your mask on first before assisting those around you.” has been feeling lots of responsibility to change the current state of the world. In the past, M. would have protested, become an advocate, traveled to help, but she now has physical challenges that are preventing her from taking those steps. I let her know when we take on the responsibility of the world without focusing on our own, we can begin to break down, it becomes too much to manage. I asked if she has asked herself questions like, “how much is the state of the world in my control? Is it affecting me personally? What could I immediately do for my life and those around me?” I say, “Focus on what you can fix within a small circle instead of trying to fix a giant crater that is so vast you cannot see its full size.”
The state of the world has also triggered memories from her past. M. didn’t go into detail about specific people or experiences, but there were hints. I asked if she has done any grieving and forgiving work. Some has been done, but it hasn’t seemed to be effective. To address the things from her past, I recommended doing “Mirror” work by staring at herself in a mirror, thinking about an event or person, and saying, “I forgive you.” It is important to remember that the forgiving is for self and not the other. Forgive the negative thoughts and feelings, then let them go. It is also important to dive into memories of the past to honor and heal the present because you are on the other side.
I then said, “The time is now to love yourself more. Self-Care needs to be your top priority” Mindfulness, meditation, or other positive psychology interventions are needed. I recommended sound therapy utilizing binaural beats. An example is going to YouTube, typing in the search bar “HZ (hertz) for “blank” – HZ for anxiety, pain etc. Scroll through the channels and see what ones you resonate with, paying attention to thoughts and sensations in your body.
Next: Journaling, typing, or speaking out her thoughts. What is inside needs to get out!
Next: Incorporating affirmations or positive statements that can help in dealing with negative feelings, thoughts, and situations. Saying affirmations aloud can bring about changes in self and the world around us. Some examples I gave M. were, “I am not accepting this feeling. I am releasing all that is not mine and is not serving me. I am choosing peace and bringing in healing to my mind, body, and soul. I am protected in a suit of armor shielded from the weight of the world.” I encourage YOU to say those affirmations to YOURSELF. How do they feel?
In not wanting to feel so much, I asked M. if she was familiar with Creative Visualization. Using Creative Visualization is a great way to protect yourself from the release of your energy and taking on others. M. has heard of it, asked if imagination is part of it? I agreed, then gave an example of imaging herself in a glass chamber, choosing and allowing what comes in and stays out. If not a glass chamber, then a plastic bubble where anything that comes will just bounce off.
In the end, M. appeared more relaxed. I could tell she was intrigued and appreciative of the time and tips I had given. M. also complimented me by saying, “I can tell you are doing some great work in here, it really is needed.”
My final words; we each have the power to change the story and lighten our load. We must ask ourselves questions, then feel into how our body responds, paying attention to what sensations those questions bring. We want to know if we can have influence and bring change, the change must start with us as individuals. We can begin to take care of ourselves and then watch the external effects. When we feel overwhelmed, we must remember to be present and operate in a 24-hour period, minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. We must also focus on activities that make us happy, bring us peace, help us relax, like taking a hot bath/shower, listening to music, creating art, being around friends or family, moving in exercise, gardening, whatever the activity, doing what brings joy and eliminates stress. If you need external help, seek assistance, have a support team that could be there to lift you up. We hope you found this post useful.
Flexible Being is here for you.
Thank you!
Theresa Martinez-Shapiro
Flexible Being
Website: www.flexiblebeing.com
Socials:
Facebook:@flexiblebeingonlline
Instagram: @theresamartinezshapiro
Instagram: @flexiblebeing
Theresa Martinez-Shapiro
Hello! I am Theresa Martinez-Shapiro; Wife to Robert. Founder of Flexible Being. A Master Reiki Therapist, Certified Oracle Guide, Spiritual Mentor/Guide, Intuitive Empath, Coach, and Educator. I am a fur mom to 3 cats and 1 dog – Sonny, Patches, Ryelee, and Winnie. We currently live and practice in Stockton, California. We operate three businesses – Shapiro Holistic Health and Chiropractic, Fusion Health APC, and Synergy Health MSO, where we seek to improve and change the lives of our patients and those we have the privilege of crossing paths with. My healing and mentoring journey began around 5 years old when I discovered that I was put on this planet to help others. I knew I was different, unique, and gifted. I did not see the world the same way everyone else did, and recognized I was meant to do so much more. I began to research, spending a lot of time reading & asking a lot of questions to anyone that wanted to share stories about their life experiences. I am a dreamer and had a unique relationship with the dream world. My very real, vivid & lucid dreams began turning into out-of-body experiences and unexplained occurrences. I began doing my own dream interpretations to look for patterns & a new way of deciphering life. Family members were part of many different religions, so I was educated in Catholicism, Buddhism, Metaphysics, and Native American culture & beliefs. Along the way, I took up multiple mentors that cultivated my growth and expansion of my gifts, allowing me to focus on my potential and purpose. As an adult, coworkers were unloading their life stories, internal secrets, and things that had not been shared or even spoken out loud. I began to share those experiences with my aunt & Reiki Master/Teacher, Carmen. In 2012, Carmen told me, “I think you are ready to walk the path I always knew you were meant to walk”. That saying began my obsessive journey into Reiki, Spirituality, Psychology, Intuition and Psychic gifts, Meditation and Mindfulness, Past Lives, Consciousness, Energy Medicine, Mysteries of the Universe, Moon and Sun cycles, Astrology, Numerology, Oracle Cards, Shamanism, & so much more. My journey has helped me to assist patients, clients, families, and friends discover who they have been, who they are, and who they want to become. I am expanding my reach and educating others by authoring Musings of a Flexible Being, and I look forward to sharing my journey with you. Thank you! Theresa Martinez-Shapiro Flexible Being Website: www.flexiblebeing.com Socials: Facebook: @flexiblebeingonline Instagram:@theresamartinezshapiro Instagram: @flexiblebeing
