It was her 15th birthday.
We drove out to Sonoma to spend the day, passing through vineyards, and the shadows of trees;
Their light flickering, as if the whole earth shared a pulse.
She had only asked to bring her boyfriend and his mom along.
She had said they were the only ones she would want.
I smiled watching her walk with him up ahead, noticing their sheer size difference.
His name is Ilex, which means “Black Oak.”
His mother had named him that after he was born weighing nearly 11 pounds,
and it fits well as I see how he now shades her.
My daughter, Chloe, has gone through many things that have made her more cautious, and, maybe sometimes, seem small;
which is why, in the beginning, when they said they were “just friends” I had to convince her that it seemed like he really did like her for her.
Every day she would come home from school smiling,
telling me some new thing he had done or said;
And I know those looks.
I remember when they were my own.
I paid attention to the fact that when she spoke of him her voice sounded different than it ever had,
but it was the day of the school lockdown that I carry in my heart the most.
They were in gym class together when the announcement came through that there was a school shooting threat.
The kids were all frightened, and moved to be up against the wall;
Lights off, and demanded hushed tones.
Chloe had been one of the last to get to the wall, and when she did another girl grabbed her and pulled her in, but had pulled her to stand in front of herself,
and when Ilex saw this, he said, “No way,” and he took her hand.
That is when this boy, towering over her, put her behind him.
His body, her shield.
When I heard this story I couldn’t stop the tears.
All a mother wants is protection for her kids.
Shortly after, I think their eyes were opened.
Maybe they WERE much more than just friends.
Maybe their moms had been right, with their raised eyebrows and half-smiles.
(We mothers do know SOME things sometimes. Don’t tell the kids.)
A couple of months ago, as they walked hand-in-hand in the field,
a few of Ilex’s football teammates took note of them, and later razzed him that she was “way too hot of a girl to be with someone like him.”
He had just shrugged, and said, “OK.”
He let their words roll right off of him.
Last week in their culinary class that they have together, their teacher made a comment out of the blue:
“Boy, your break up is going to be really rough.
No high school relationship ever lasts, you do know?”
But love is alive, and it walks in the sun gripping the hand of what is, to some, invisible.
This world needs fewer naysayers and more faith in possibility.
More truly seeing, more hope.
More appreciation for anyone with whom you can be your true self; With whom you can let your belly-laughs go.
None of these people know what I know when I watch them walk up ahead:
She may be just 15, but her smile says everything to me:
Who she is is protected by him.
She has already overcome much more than simple-minded, hurtful words,
and no weeds can choke out a Black Oak.
Mom Outnumbered
Hi! My name is Kerri Green; Wife to Justin, and mother to four highly entertaining daughters -Alena, Chloe, Tessa, and Paige. I am an artist, a writer, a daycare provider, a lover of people, a believer that there is humor and beauty in all things, and the author of Mom Outnumbered; a blog about real family life, and my observations of it. My goal is to make people laugh, to be there for them when they cry, and most importantly, to let them know that they are not at all alone in this up and down world. I live with my family in Sebastopol California, and I am opening the window into our life. So welcome! Come in. Sit down. Just please don’t mind the mysterious wet spots.
