The following is written by a guest blogger. The opinions expressed here are those of the writer and do not reflect the opinions of Bob Lacey, Sheri Lynch or the Bob & Sheri show.
I took my two middle girls shoe shopping on Monday.
With their sister’s wedding coming up in just a couple of weeks, we were still in search of the perfect shoes to go with their dresses.
While I found and presented suitable sandals, they migrated towards heels far too tall for them to actually navigate down a path.
I held up the flats,
they pointed to stilettos.
Before I knew it they had both found high heels in their sizes and were lurching down the department store aisle like a runway.
“There is no way you’re getting those,” I called behind them.
“You’ll both break your ankles.
Maybe even your necks.”
“No we won’t” they argued, sputter-walking away from me like two newborn giraffes.
“See! It’s fine,” Chloe said just before she pitched sideways, taking out an entire tennis shoe display.
I had to make sure they didn’t see me laughing at them desperately trying and failing to prove that they’ve got this Big Girl stuff down.
I just waited there on a bench with the sandals,
allowing them to traumatize their ligaments enough to finally see the light;
Which they did, eventually, and we went home with sandals with only slight heels.
Me with a zipped lip,
and them with the knowledge I’d waited for them to acquire all on their own.
I smiled as I sat remembering a classic battle of had with their big sister years ago.
She had wanted some headbands with long fabric strips on the ends meant to tie behind your head to look like a scarf.
I tried everything I knew to convince her that those strips were for tying in a bow at the base of her neck, but she was adamant that they were meant to just hang behind her ears in long flaps.
She said “everyone” wore them that way.
So I let her do it.
I’d drop her off at school and just shake my head as I drove away.
For over a year she went to school in those things looking like she had plaid Basset Hound ears.
Looking back at pictures recently she asked me why I’d let her go out in public like that.
I just shrugged and reminded her that she was so sure she knew the right way.
I mention those headbands every time I need to prove I know something now.
My silence for that one year securing me multiple years now with the upper-hand.
So I sat and let Chloe and Tessa wobble.
I knew if I silently waited they would come around.
So much of mothering is like shopping for those shoes.
Them just SURE they know what’s best.
You, usually knowing better, and fighting every internal urge to force them to do things your way.
But if I’ve learned one thing in this middle season it’s that sometimes it’s best to just let them jolt around on their own fresh legs.
Some things they have to learn on their own, after all.
Some lessons can only be learned beneath toppled tennis shoe displays.
Alena, took me to see her new apartment this week.
She wanted to show me the progress she and her fiancé had made on decorating in the few days since they’d had the keys.
I caught myself mentally nitpicking some of her decisions and it was then I realized how much I am still jelly-legged in my big girl shoes sometimes, too.
42 years old and still trying to prove I’ve got this motherhood thing.
Let them try new things *wobble*
Let them choose different than you *lurch*
Learn to let them go *wobble*
So I bit back the commentary unless it was a praise,
and I tried to remember that
it takes many knock-kneed laps before any of us can ever start looking convincing in our grown-up shoes.
Mom Outnumbered
Hi! My name is Kerri Green; Wife to Justin, and mother to four highly entertaining daughters -Alena, Chloe, Tessa, and Paige. I am an artist, a writer, a daycare provider, a lover of people, a believer that there is humor and beauty in all things, and the author of Mom Outnumbered; a blog about real family life, and my observations of it. My goal is to make people laugh, to be there for them when they cry, and most importantly, to let them know that they are not at all alone in this up and down world. I live with my family in Sebastopol California, and I am opening the window into our life. So welcome! Come in. Sit down. Just please don’t mind the mysterious wet spots.
