I try to meditate for at least a few minutes every day. I’m not very good at it. Nevertheless, I persist.
I use the Headspace app to guide me through my meditation. Upon completion the other day, it told me I had meditated for 275 days in a row and a total of 10,852 minutes. The minutes are not as impressive as they look. I’ve been using the app for years. However, I am proud of the streak.
I try to meditate for 10-20 minutes daily, but some days I wimp out and just do three. Focus is a big problem for me, but so is anxiety—hence the meditation.
Andy, my Headspace guy (who happens to have a very sexy European accent) often emphasizes there is no right or wrong way to meditate. He notes the mind will wonder, just focus on the breath and bring the mind back to your breathing. I try to do this. I really do. However, my mind is a lot like a toddler after several pixie sticks.
One of my meditation sessions goes a little something like this:
Andy: Let’s begin with our eyes open and a couple of deep breaths.
Me: Shit. I have already closed my eyes.
Andy: Feel your body sink deep into your chair or bed.
Me: That’s not hard. I have a 50-pound dog laying across my midsection.
Andy: Take in the sounds around you.
Me: Neighbor’s weed eater, dogs snoring, is that the toilet running?
Andy: Now scan the body starting at your head.
Me: I have lots of complaints here, Andy. I’m going to jump straight to the breathing.
Andy: Now focus on your breath.
Me: Got it. Ouch! Hazel, watch where you put that paw. Fuck. I need to call my mom.
Andy: Quiet the mind and count the breaths up to 10 and then start over.
Me: One…two…three… Dammit! I forgot to soak those beans last night. Now what are we going to have for dinner? 13…14…15…Shit. One…two…three…Is Benji (a character from the book Beartown) okay? I really need him to be okay.
Andy: Now, let’s try an exercise called noting. If your mind wonders, label it as thinking or feeling.
Me: I FEEL like I need to pee, but I THINK I can hold it. Ugh. Did one of you dogs fart?
Andy: Let’s start to come back to our breath.
Me: I’m breathing…I’m breathing…Did I send that email and pay the AmEx bill?
Andy: Now focus back in on the sounds and your surroundings. When you’re ready, gently open your eyes.
Me: And we’re back! What all did I remember that I needed to do?
It’s not ideal, but I do it. I believe there is some benefit despite my crazy racing mind, so I soldier on each day.
As you may have noticed, my dogs can be a distraction. That is why I often meditated in the car in the parent pick-up line at my daughter’s school. The only problem is, I sometimes fall asleep. Yes, I have been that parent. A teacher actually had to knock on the window once to wake me up and keep the line moving. I may have been drooling. My husband loves that story.
I feel most who meditate are way better at it than me. The thing is, it’s not a competition. Some days, I’m more successful and feel the benefit. Some days, I’m just going through the motions and adding to my streak. The important thing here is: I’m trying really hard to calm my shit.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
