I’m like my granny in many ways. I’m a little bit crazy. I’m definitely set in my ways. I’m an excellent cook. I have a questionable sense of humor. I love my family and I hoard groceries.
My granny practically had a general store in her basement. There was an entire room down there lined with shelves where she kept a stockpile of food and other items very neatly organized.
She bought shit in mass quantities. If Kroger had a sale on green beans, she bought a case. There was also canned salmon, peas, tomatoes, corn, lard and more toilet paper and paper towels than you could use in a year.
I went to college in the same town where my grandparents lived. I did a good chunk of my grocery shopping in my granny’s basement. I would just grab a bag and stock up. She did not mind. It also amused my roommate greatly.
As I have aged and survived the last three years in a pandemic, I find myself shopping more in bulk. I have to admit, I’m a Costco addict. I love that place. My granny would have lost her damn mind in a Costco. She might not have been impressed with some of the bougie stuff I buy, but she would have had a field day with the canned vegetables and paper products.
I don’t have an entire room in my basement for food. That space is reserved for whiskey. Priorities. However, I have multiple storage spots that seem to be growing. It started with a shelf in the laundry room because my kitchen is small. Now there are multiple storage places in my garage for groceries.
I will say, my mass quantities of goodies differ a great deal from the practical goods my granny kept. Sure, I have every type of tomato ever canned. However, I also have pho, lentils, pasta, beans, udon, olive oil, seaweed, and yes, a shit ton of toilet paper and paper towels.
The pandemic made my hoarding worse, for sure. I really went nuts early on largely due to my husband’s concerns about shortages. However, I have not slowed down on the stockpiling. The upside to this is, I can always make a damn good meal at a moment’s notice.
The other culprit to my grocery madness is the internet. For someone who loves to cook and try new things, the internet is like crack. I live in a small town and I can’t get a lot of “exotic” items, but you better believe, I can fucking order them. And I do!
With Josie away at school, I really need to cut back on my grocery shopping. It’s probably not going to happen. There is too much of Dorothy Thomas’ DNA in me. Like my granny, this bitch is ready for the apocalypse.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
