I wrote this a few weeks ago, but as we enter the holiday season it seems more relevant now than ever. Regardless of your faith or lack thereof, please remember that everyone can be nice. You don’t have to believe in anything or anyone to be respectful and show a little compassion. If not at Christmastime, then when? I know! How about all damn year?
When as humans, did we decided it was okay to no longer be nice? I feel like it was in the fairly recent past. I’ve been pondering this a lot lately along with what happened to folks just doing something for the greater good? I’ll leave the latter question for another time and just focus on being nice.
In the senior superlatives of the West Union High School class of 1990, I was voted “Friendliest.” That made me happy and I still take that title seriously, as I feel quite certain there is someone lurking in the bushes just waiting on me to act like a real asshat and revoke my award. As you might have guessed, I have not received many awards.
I feel compliments are the epitome of niceness and as the old saying goes, “They don’t cost you a thing.” Whether at the grocery store or chatting with a fellow soccer mom, I try to pay a compliment whenever possible. Now, I think these compliments need to be sincere—don’t tell someone with a mullet you like their hair—but I find it is usually pretty easy to spot something about another person you genuinely like. I’m big on nail polish color (although I never paint my own nails), a lovely smile or some fancy pants tattoos.
All my compliments with strangers, make my daughter a little insane. “Mom, you’re just so chatty!” Whatevs. I hope that one day she will follow my lead. Just a few words of kindness can turn around someone’s day and with any luck, they will pay it forward.
I just really want to make America nice again. I’m a very sensitive person and all the negativity can really get to me, so maybe my motives are somewhat selfish. I’m okay with that.
Not all my compliments land. Some totally miss the mark. However, I’m here to tell you, when you are nice to someone and their eyes light up and you can see your words mattered, well, that is pretty fucking fantastic.
While compliments are my bread and butter, also remember there are tons of other ways to be nice. Open a door for someone, help a person with their groceries, pay for their drink at Starbuck’s, give them some grace when the entire world is kicking their ass.
So go out into this world and remember the words of my all-time favorite bumper sticker: Mean people suck.