I love to people-watch. Some might call it being nosey. Whatevs. Recently during a lunch date with the hubs, the folks two tables over became a people-watching bonanza.
It started when the man got up for a refill and I noticed the bold Canadian tuxedo he was sporting. For those unfamiliar with the Canadian tuxedo, it is a denim-on-denim ensemble. Classic.
After he returned to his chair his phone rang and he immediately started apologizing. Trouble was afoot. The first words I could make out were, “I’m sorry. I totally misunderstood.” I said to my husband, “Oh, he is in trouble.” Much logistic talk followed. Finally, it seemed as though he had calmed down the person on the phone, whom I was assuming, was his wife. He was at the restaurant with his two daughters, probably after church. Yes, I like to make up backstories for the people I watch.
This is when the man got bold, and I feel, made a tragic error. The next words that came out of his mouth were, “I really wish you would be more clear.” I may have gasped. I then said to my husband, “He just fucked up. He should not have gone there.” My husband agreed.
The call ended. About five minutes later a minivan slid into the parking lot on two wheels and a woman got out and proceeded to stomp into the restaurant. She was hot. And I’m not talking sexy, although she was attractive.
She bypassed the counter and went straight to the booth with her family to chew her husband’s ass. Boy, she lit into him! Apparently, she had gone home after church and prepared a lovely salmon salad that no one was going to enjoy now. I felt her pain here. It’s a shame to waste good salmon.
At one point the smallest daughter climbed into Dad’s lap to protect him from this severe tongue-lashing he was receiving. My husband and I were glued to the drama. My only regret is we weren’t a little closer, so I could hear everything.
She was pissed, but he seemed to calm her down and eventually, there was some laughter. All through this my husband was using massive amounts of therapy lingo he had picked up over the years and had me on the floor laughing. When he said, “You are making me feel stupid. Perhaps we should put a pin in this for later when we can communicate more clearly and calmly.” I almost peed my pants. Yes. We are horrible people.
We have probably been married 15 to 20 years longer than this couple. We have lots of experience with these sorts of communication failures. I hope these crazy kids worked things out. However, I’m not going to lie, I was most grateful for the lunchtime entertainment. It was epic. It was almost as good as the time my two besties and I saw a man serve his wife divorce papers at a sushi joint, but that is a tale for another day.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
