If you feel tired right now, you are not imagining it. There is a reason your body feels heavy, your motivation feels low, and your nervous system feels like it has been running on fumes since Thanksgiving. The third Monday of January is often called Blue Monday, and it has been labeled as the “most depressing day of the year.” While it is not an official medical diagnosis and it is not something that can be scientifically confirmed in a simple way, the idea of Blue Monday hits home for so many people because it describes a very real experience.

It makes sense, the holidays end, the sparkle fades, the weather is gray, the routines are back in full force, and the pressure of “New Year, New Me” starts to feel like a personal failure if you cannot keep up with it. Not to mention, it is winter, most animals are hibernating or flew south for the winter and here we are trying to crush a bunch of goals. A lot of people feel a collective exhaustion this time of year, even if everything looks fine on the outside.

Midlife moms feel it even more with the ever changing hormones and deeply feeling every emotion.

Why Blue Monday feels so heavy for so many of us.

Even if you love the holidays, December can feel like emotional and physical overload. It’s not just the parties, the gifts, the cookies, and the decorations. It’s the mental load, the constant planning, organizing, hosting, coordinating schedules, shopping, wrapping, remembering every little detail, and trying to make the season feel magical for everyone. It becomes a marathon, then suddenly the week of Christmas it turned into a sprint. Then January hits, school is back, work is back, life is back, but the responsibilities never stopped for moms.

Your body doesn’t always get a chance to fully come down from the adrenaline of December. Your nervous system stays in that high-alert mode longer than you realize. The result isn’t laziness, it’s not lack of discipline, it’s the result of burnout.

Burnout can look like exhaustion, brain fog, irritability, low motivation, body aches, anxiety, overstimulation, or feeling like you want to cry over something small. Burnout can also look like doing everything you normally do, but feeling empty while you do it. That is why Blue Monday feels real to so many people. It speaks to the emotional crash that happens when you have been carrying too much for too long.

The January mindset trap: Why do we think we need to go all-in?

January has a strange energy. It’s marketed as a fresh start, a clean slate, a major transformation, a life reset. It sounds inspiring, but it also creates pressure. It makes you feel like you should wake up on January 1st as a brand-new person with brand-new habits, brand-new energy, and brand-new motivation. It convinces you that you should suddenly have the discipline to do everything perfectly.

Work out harder, eat cleaner, sleep more, drink more water, meditate daily, start the business, save the money, become a 7+ figure business owner, declutter the house, fix your hormones, build muscle, lose weight, heal your nervous system, journal, read the books, don’t drink alcohol, stick to the plan.

It becomes another performance. I hear so much more lately women do not want wellness to feel like this anymore. They don’t want another thing added to their already overflowing to do list and have to check off another box. A lot of moms do not have the space for that anymore, a lot of us want our routines to feel supportive, not suffocating.

If January feels hard, it is often because the goals are not the problem. The pressure is the problem. Let’s say this part again! The goals are not the problem, the pressure is the problem. The expectation that you should be gung-ho right now is the problem. Your body might be asking for something else entirely.

Softer wellness is not giving up, it is growing up

At some point in midlife, the hustle starts to lose its shine. Optimization starts to feel like exhaustion in a prettier outfit, biohacking every area of your life starts to feel less like empowerment and more like another job. There’s a reason so many women are craving softer wellness right now. Softer wellness isn’t about not doing anything, it’s about doing what actually helps. It’s about choosing simple, fulfilling habits that create energy, instead of draining it, it’s about letting wellness fit into your life, instead of forcing your life to revolve around wellness. It’s about taking care of yourself in a way that feels realistic, sustainable, and supportive.

Softer wellness might look like:

  • a 25 minute workout instead of an hour.
  • stretching instead of pushing.
  • walking outside instead of trying to “burn off” something you ate.
  • lifting weights two or three days a week instead of six.
  • meditating for three minutes instead of feeling guilty for not doing 15 minutes.
  • eating meals that make you feel good, without turning food into a math problem.
  • saying no.
  • putting your phone down and taking a social media detox.
  • choosing ease over intensity.

That isn’t failure, that is wisdom.

Why moms feel this more than anyone

The mental load of motherhood doesn’t pause when the holidays are over. A lot of moms don’t just need motivation, they need relief, they need a plan that doesn’t require them to add ten new habits to an already full plate. They need a nervous system that can breathe again, they need movement that gives them energy instead of taking it, they need practices that feel nourishing, not demanding.

Most moms are not struggling because they lack willpower. they’re struggling because they are carrying too much. This time of year hits hard because moms are often coming out of December depleted, then walking straight into January expectations with no buffer. It makes sense that you feel tired. Not to mention we are in the height of sickness season, viruses, colds, flu, etc.

A new way to set goals this year (without going into overdrive)

Goals are not the enemy. The way we approach them matters. A lot of women set goals from a place of pressure. They set goals from a place of fear, from lack, from a place of “I have to fix myself.”

That mindset doesn’t create long-term change. That mindset actually creates burnout.

A different way to set goals is to ask a better question.

Instead of asking, “What do I need to achieve?”

Try asking, “What do I need to feel supported?”

Instead of asking, “What should I do more of?”

Try asking, “What do I need to do less of?”

Instead of asking, “How can I optimize this year?”

Try asking, “How can I make this year more peaceful?”

Instead of trying to overhaul your entire life, choose one or two anchor habits that make everything else feel easier.

Exercise that feels good.

Sleep that feels protected.

Food that feels steady.

Breath that feels calming.

Boundaries that feel honest.

These are the basics that build a strong foundation. These can create real change.

If I am being honest, I bought a planner and today, January 18th as I am writing this, I have yet to write a single thing down in the planner. Yes, I have my phone calendar with all my appointments, the kids schedules, Zooms, recordings, etc.. But I haven’t felt like diving into my planner yet and last year I didn’t use my planner once! I found it untouched while cleaning and organizing my home office over Christmas break. I haven’t made my vision board yet either. I just am not feeling the urge right now. However with the vision board I do actually hope to do it tonight with the new moon. But my point is, I am a highly motivated person but I don’t feel like it’s necessary to be so full go come January 1st. I am moving slowly into the winter months honoring how I feel.

Your Blue Monday reset: Move your body, soften your mind

If you feel heavy today, do not force yourself into intensity, choose something that meets you where you are, maybe it’s something that helps your nervous system exhale, maybe it is something that feels energetic. Maybe you do feel great and ready to kick 2026 a**.

  1. January does not need to be a full reinvention.
  2. January can be a return.
  3. A return to what feels simple.
  4. A return to what feels calming.
  5. A return to what feels doable.
  6. A return to movement that supports you.
  7. A return to wellness that feels like a life upgrade, not another obligation.

Blue Monday is a reminder that so many people are tired right now. You’re not alone in that. Your body is communicating with you, learn to listen.

Let this be the week you choose kindness for yourself.

Let this be the week you choose to feel better, without the pressure to be perfect.