I’m not a person who lives in fear. Anxiety? Totally, but not exactly fear. I think I hold an average amount of fear for a woman. There is just so much to be afraid of as a woman. Show me most any woman and I’ll show you someone who does not want to be alone in a dark, public place at night.
As women we are engrained to be fearful. I’m sorry, but men are stronger, more aggressive and in some instances, flat-out dangerous.
I have walked many a late night through an airport parking garage with my finger on my car’s panic button holding my key at the ready to stick it in some crazed maniac’s throat or in his eyeball. Admittedly, in all my years of solo travel, I’ve never had an incident, but the fear is always there. Unless of course my six foot, eight inch, former football player co-worker was with me. I always felt safe with him—and my husband.
Just this year, I started doing some solo hiking in the woods. It took me a long time to get up the nerve. It is freeing and unnerving all at once. However, I hate to not do something I enjoy totally based on fear. I want to power through. I also don’t want to be a statistic.
What I do appreciate are men, also out in the woods alone, who understand being a woman in this situation can be nerve racking.
I was hiking one of my favorite trails recently. It runs the perimeter of a lake and it is on a college campus, so it is relatively safe, but a woman’s fear of predators runs deep.
As I was walking, I heard twigs snap and my head shot around. I probably jumped too. Pure instinct. Immediately, the man said, “I’m so sorry. Man behind you.” As he was moving faster than me, I slowed down to let him pass and we had a pleasant exchange. I thanked him for his consideration. This is how you do it fellas. Please announce yourself.
As women, we are raised to have a certain amount of fear of men. It’s self-preservation. They can be really bad. Even scary AF. That fear runs deep and never fully leaves us.
I tried to explain this to my white, six foot, 2 inch, 225 pound husband. It was a bit lost on him. I know he empathizes, but he has never been terrified of a much larger man saying inappropriate things or, even worse, acting threatening. I have. I’m always on high alert. I’m small and have no self-preservation skills.
I have drilled this into my daughter too, especially now that she is in college on a big campus in a good-sized city. I worry about her even more than myself. I don’t want her to live in fear, but I need her to be alert and diligent in self-protection.
I don’t know the answer. There are just bad people in the world we have to look out for. That sucks.
I do appreciate a man who will announce himself in one of these tricky situations for women. I guess at the end of the day, he could still be a serial killer, but at least he was polite. Manners matter.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
