Can We Talk?

In recent years I’ve tried to be more open and honest about my mental health struggles. I believe strongly in normalizing mental health. That shit isn’t going to happen if we don’t talk about it. I will continue with this mission, but I’ve found a new one to champion as well: perimenopause. This time of life for a woman is total horse shit.

I’ve been in perimenopause for years. Until recent months, I’ve been able to control the terrible symptoms with over-the-counter meds and herbs. I’m way past that now. The shit has gotten real. My insomnia is off the charts. I think this is primarily due to the crazy-intense hot flashes. I’ve also gained weight, have developed adult acne, cry at the drop of a hat and, at times, can’t remember my name.

Ultimately, it was the hot flashes that drove me back to my gyno in desperation. Y’all, I recently had a hot flash that was so extreme I gagged and thought I was going to puke. I also felt so dizzy I feared I might pass out. The only thing I could figure out to do was rip off my nightgown and go stand on my back porch in my underwear. To answer your next question: Yes. I live in a neighborhood and one of my neighbors could have easily walked out and seen me standing there, basically naked. I did not give a fuck. All I knew was it was 40 degrees outside and I needed relief. People, I have been cold my whole damn life. How did this happen?

As my symptoms have become worse, my husband has tried very hard to be helpful. One day he sent me a New York Times article discussing hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and its safety for most women—despite popular belief. My visceral reaction to this article surprised even me. I was enraged. All I could think about was this is just one more way society makes women second-class citizens. This would not be a topic if men went through menopause. If men dealt with this crap someone would have found a fucking fix.

Making me even angrier, I had a conversation with a friend whose doc refused to give her hormones. This person has no family history of breast cancer and is a prime candidate for HRT. The old study done on HRT, which freaked everyone out, has been proven to be greatly flawed. However, there is still the mentality of, “Buck up, Buttercup.” Oh, hell no.

Back to my trip to the gyno. I had been on progesterone for six weeks with absolutely no improvement in my symptoms. My doc was shocked. I was just greatly disappointed because everyone I knew who had gone on progesterone called it a miracle. It did not phase me. They did more blood work. The next day I got a call with the results and guess what? My freaking estrogen was “undetectable.” Well, hell. That explains a lot. The answer to your next question is also a very big YES. I’m going to start on some damn estrogen.

I’ve felt like I’ve been going crazy, but I want to thank the great Oprah for validating all I have been going through. She has an online panel with Drew Barrymore, Maria Shriver and some amazing docs confirming what I was feeling and dealing with is normal. Drew and I are about the same age and her description of what she was going through made me cry just because it felt like she was talking about me. But here’s the thing, she is having trouble finding the right docs and resources. If Drew Freaking Barrymore can’t find a good doc, how can someone in rural America stand a chance? For the record, my gyno is wonderful, but I feel like I’m in the minority. This needs to end.

Please understand, the decision on how to deal with this phase of life is totally up to the individual. I’m not advocating for or against HRT. I just think women need the option and the tools to make an educated decision. Those tools are damn hard to get because no one fucking talks about it!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I realize this post was basically one long rant, but it all needed to be said, in my opinion. Women’s health needs to be a bigger priority in this country. THE END.

Angela Traver

What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.