A love letter to one of the most iconic 90s movies, and the surprisingly deep life lessons we can carry into parenting, adulthood, and everyday choices.
Every now and then, a movie from your teenage years hits differently as an adult. You remember the fashion, the lingo, the soundtrack, but you also catch things you never noticed before. That’s what happened recently when I rewatched Clueless.
Yes, the plaid, the knee socks, the rotating closet. But under all the glam and giggles, Cher Horowitz was giving us more than just fashion inspo. She was low-key teaching us about boundaries, confidence, compassion, and the awkward, humbling process of growing up.
And let’s be real, most of us are still growing up, just with more emails and less homeroom.
Cher starts the movie as a well-meaning but slightly out-of-touch Beverly Hills teenager. She’s confident, charming, and completely unaware of her privilege. But as the movie unfolds, she becomes more self-aware, more empathetic, and more grounded, without losing her sparkle.
She stumbles. She gets it wrong. She learns.
And isn’t that exactly what we’re still doing, whether we’re 16 or 46?
5 Clueless Lessons That Still Apply Today—For Us and Our Kids
- “As If!” Is the Original Boundary Statement
Cher didn’t apologize for her standards. If something didn’t vibe with her values, her style, or her gut feeling, she shut it down with a perfectly timed “Ugh, as if!”
What We Can Take From It:
It’s not rude to protect your peace. Our kids are growing up in a world where pressure to say yes is constant, peer pressure, online pressure, perfection pressure. Teaching them to say “as if” to what doesn’t serve them (without guilt) is one of the best gifts we can offer.
- Confidence Comes from Ownership, Not Perfection
Cher made bold choices. She spoke her mind. She wore what made her feel good. She didn’t always get it right, but she didn’t shrink either. And when she messed up, she owned it. That’s real confidence.
What We Can Take From It:
Confidence isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about showing up as you are and adjusting as you grow. For our kids (and for us), it’s okay to not have all the answers. We don’t have to perform, we just have to be real.
- True Glow-Ups Are About Compassion
Cher thought she was just giving Tai a makeover, but it ended up being a journey into empathy. She learned how to listen, how to uplift others, and how to move beyond surface-level thinking.
What We Can Take From It:
The way we treat others matters more than how we look. It’s important to model this, online and offline. Compliment people on their kindness, their ideas, their humor, not just their appearance. Show your kids that heart matters more than highlight reels.
- Mistakes Are Part of the Process
Cher had plenty of cringe moments, matchmaking gone wrong, misjudging people, realizing she wasn’t always right. But she didn’t spiral or shut down. She adjusted, grew, and kept going.
What We Can Take From It:
It’s okay to get it wrong. Let your kids see you mess up and make amends. Let them see you laugh at yourself, course-correct, and stay open. That’s how they learn to trust the process, not fear it.
- You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind
The most iconic scene? When Cher walks the streets of Beverly Hills with shopping bags in hand, talking to herself, realizing that she’s grown, that she sees things differently now, and that maybe, just maybe she’s been missing something (or someone) all along.
What We Can Take From It:
Changing your mind is a strength, not a weakness. We’re all evolving. Your kids will change, too, styles, friendships, beliefs, dreams. Let them know that’s not only okay, it’s expected. Reinvention isn’t flakiness. It’s freedom.
A Word for the Parents Raising Teens in a TikTok World
Raising kids today can feel like walking through a mall of noise, opinions, influencers, algorithms, and expectations. But at the core, the values we want to pass down haven’t changed.
We still want our kids to be kind.
We still want them to be confident without arrogance.
We still want them to care more about how they treat people than how many likes they get.
And maybe, just maybe, we can use a little Clueless to get that message across, with humor, heart, and a few perfectly timed eye rolls.
Let’s channel a little Clueless energy this week.
Let’s say “as if” to burnout, perfectionism, and comparison.
Let’s raise (and become) humans who are self-aware.
Because the best glow-up isn’t about your outfit, it’s about how you show up.
If you’re parenting teenagers right now, you know it’s a wild ride. And while today’s teens are facing totally different pressures (social media, constant comparison, and digital everything), many of the messages we grew up with are still the same.
The key is helping them decode it all. To remind them that being popular isn’t everything, being kind is powerful, and being yourself is always the answer.
We can let them know that sometimes, like Cher, they’ll make mistakes, get lost, and even feel clueless, and that’s okay. Growth isn’t linear. Life isn’t perfectly curated. And confidence isn’t something you find…. it’s something you build.
Because deep down, we’re all still figuring it out. And just like Cher, we’re allowed to evolve, be a little messy, and find clarity in unexpected places.
Next time you’re scrolling or feeling the pressure to have it all figured out, remember Cher. She didn’t need a ten-step plan to grow. She just needed some self-reflection, honest friendships, and the courage to own who she was becoming.
Let’s carry that with us. And let’s raise kids who know that being “clueless” is just a starting point, not a flaw.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a sudden urge to organize my life with a virtual closet and drink a Snapple.
Nikki Lanigan
Nikki Lanigan is a yoga, HIIT, and Barre instructor, she is also a Holistic Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Nikki is trained in Yoga Shred, Yoga Psychology, meditation, chakra balancing, and EFT/Tapping. She has done trainings with Sadie Nardini and Ashley Turner. She got her 200 hour yoga teacher training in 2017 at the Carrie Treister School Of Yoga. Nikki takes a holistic view of health, helping her students and clients reach a place of self-love not just through movement, but with mindset and lifestyle guidance as well. Nikki is also show prep writer for The McVay Media Show Prep and host of the podcast Fit, Fun, and Frazzled. Connect with Nikki on Instagram. www.instagram.com/nikkilanigan.yogaandwellness www.instagram.com/fitfunandfrazzledpodcast
