The age old saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup and put on your oxygen mask first holds true. How can we nurture and take care of others when we are so depleted and not taking care of ourselves.
In the beautiful journey of marriage and motherhood, it’s not uncommon to lose sight of one’s own individual identity. Somewhere along the way, with all the responsibilities, work, life, adulting, happiness and joys, we may find ourselves questioning where our vibrant, fun-loving selves have gone. It’s essential to acknowledge this yearning and might come to be very strong when your kids are older and very self sufficient, you realize somewhere along the way of running the kids everywhere, packing lunches, helping with homework, helping out at school, the things you once did for yourself in your free time are down to a minimum or maybe even non existent.
It might be time to embark on a transformative journey to rediscover our true selves.
Being a mom is the most rewarding thing ever! But it is also the most draining thing. I know I choose to work from home when I had kids and I think it is the best decision for our family. I am happy I made that choice. I want to be there day in and day out for my kids, running them to their sports, appointments, etc. I want to help out at their schools and do all that cliche’ PTA things.
But it is still hard, even exhausting at times, then there is the wondering if I am screwing them up, if I am doing a good enough job, sometimes even feeling like I have lost myself in this thing called life and motherhood.
When did it become the goal in life to get the label of, ” She’s so selfless”. Do you ever hear people describe a woman like that as it is this reward? Why is it looked at as being amazing to give up ones self and things we used to do and enjoy in our free time to do things for everyone else around us?
I want to explore the process of reconnecting with our passions, nurturing our well-being, and finding fulfillment beyond the roles of being a mom and wife.
1. Acknowledging the Shift:
The first step towards reclaiming your joy is recognizing and accepting the changes that have taken place. It’s natural for priorities to shift when you become a wife and a mom. However, it doesn’t mean you have to abandon the essence of who you are. Embrace the transformative power of these roles while still honoring your individuality.
2. Reflecting on Past Passions:
Take a moment to reflect on the activities and hobbies that used to bring you joy. Remember the things you were passionate about before marriage and motherhood entered your life. Whether it was painting, dancing, writing, or practicing yoga, reconnecting with your former interests can help reignite the flame of joy within you.
3. Carving Out “Me” Time:
Finding time for yourself can feel impossible, but it is crucial for our well-being. Communicate with your partner, family, or friends, and establish regular pockets of time that are solely dedicated to nurturing your passions or engaging in self-care activities. By prioritizing self-care, you’ll not only rediscover your joy but also be better equipped to support your loved ones.
4. Exploring New Possibilities:
While revisiting past passions is essential, don’t be afraid to explore new interests and avenues. Consider trying out activities you’ve always wanted to pursue but never had the chance to. Step out of your comfort zone, join a dance class, learn a musical instrument, or enroll in a creative writing workshop. Exploring new possibilities will invigorate your spirit and open doors to new sources of happiness.
5. Seeking Support and Community:
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Reach out to like-minded individuals who are also seeking personal growth and fulfillment. Attend local community events, join support groups, or participate in online forums centered around topics that interest you. Connecting with others who understand your journey will provide valuable support and encouragement along the way.
6. Practicing Mindfulness and Self-Compassion:
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s important to practice mindfulness and self-compassion. Allow yourself to embrace imperfections and celebrate small victories. Be kind to yourself as you navigate through this transformative phase. Practicing mindfulness techniques like meditation and deep breathing can help center your thoughts and bring you closer to inner peace.
7. Schedule Adult Time:
Schedule date nights with your spouse/partner. Schedule coffee dates with your friends, or walking groups. Get out with other adults and have adult conversations.
Reclaiming our joy and happiness is an empowering journey that requires self-reflection, self-care, and a willingness to embrace change. As a mom and a wife, we possess incredible strength and love, but it’s equally important to nourish our own spirit. When we reconnect with our passions, explore new possibilities, seek support, and practice self-compassion, we will gradually rediscover the joy and happiness that make us the amazing person we are.
Embrace this transformative process, and remember that nurturing your own well-being ultimately benefits your loved ones as well. It’s time to embark on a path of self-discovery, one that leads you to a life filled with joy and happiness beyond the roles of being a mom and a wife.
Nikki Lanigan
Nikki Lanigan is a yoga, HIIT, and Barre instructor, she is also a Holistic Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Nikki is trained in Yoga Shred, Yoga Psychology, meditation, chakra balancing, and EFT/Tapping. She has done trainings with Sadie Nardini and Ashley Turner. She got her 200 hour yoga teacher training in 2017 at the Carrie Treister School Of Yoga. Nikki takes a holistic view of health, helping her students and clients reach a place of self-love not just through movement, but with mindset and lifestyle guidance as well. Nikki is also show prep writer for The McVay Media Show Prep and host of the podcast Fit, Fun, and Frazzled. Connect with Nikki on Instagram. www.instagram.com/nikkilanigan.yogaandwellness www.instagram.com/fitfunandfrazzledpodcast
