As Halloween approaches, scary movies seem to be at the top of everyone’s mind. There also isn’t a damn thing else playing at the movie theater. It’s frustrating. I’m not a horror movie gal. I just don’t see the appeal. Why would I want to be scared on purpose? That is not my idea of a good time. I would much rather laugh.
It was early on in my life when I realized scary movies were not for me. I have my Aunt Patti to thank for this. I blame her for nothing. It just happened to be at her house where I got the shit scared out of me.
I was 12 years old and was spending the night with my Aunt Patti. I don’t remember the circumstances, but she and I were the only ones in the house. I have no idea where my cousins or uncle were.
Now, a Saturday night in the 80s at Aunt Patti’s was a real treat. Do you know why? She had HBO. Back in the day, a new movie came out on HBO every Saturday night. This was Aunt Patti’s favorite thing and I was delighted to be along for the ride.
Seriously, I thought Aunt Patti was made of money. I lived in a place where cable was not even an option and my grandparents were not paying for such a bougie add-on to their TV viewing options. Aunt Patti was the only one I knew who had HBO. I can vividly remember the little HBO booklet my aunt got in the mail every month announcing the upcoming movies. I would pour over it. I thought she was living the dream.
Back to my slumber party with Aunt Patti. If I recall correctly, the HBO movie premiere started at 8 p.m. We got into our PJs, popped some microwave popcorn and settled in. I was unaware of what was about to happen. I had not consulted the booklet and the movie premiere of the week was Nightmare on Elm Street. I was very apprehensive. I had never seen a scary movie. My parents did not let me watch much of anything. I’m still bitter they outlawed Purple Rain. Luckily, everything was up for grabs at Aunt Patti’s house.
I put on my big girl panties and tried not to be a total wuss in front of my super-cool aunt. Well, I’m here to tell you, this movie scared the absolute fuck out of me. I thought I was going to die, but I made it through to the end. This is when the really scary shit began.
Aunt Patti had a big concrete porch just off the living room. Did I mention we watched this very close to Halloween? Because we did, and leaves had fallen from the massive number of trees in her backyard. Many of those dead leaves were on her patio. Every time the wind blew, it moved said leaves across the concrete and it sounded exactly like Freddy Kruger’s nails scratching something. I’m pretty sure Aunt Patti was freaked out too, until she realized it was the leaves. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. It was weeks before I was right again.
My daughter is also not a huge fan of horror movies. She recently went to one with a couple of school friends. It was so scary, someone in the front row of the theater passed out. One of her friends thought this was the best thing to ever happen and could not wait to get back to the dorm to share the story. For reals, y’all. They carried this dude’s limp body out of the theater. No, thank you.
I have watched a couple of horror movies since Nightmare on Elm Street, but it has been years. I simply have no desire. I do not like to be scared and I’m certainly not going to pay for it.
I applaud all you folks who like the shit scared out of you. I’m the exact opposite. However, as much as Nightmare on Elm Street scarred me, my Aunt Patti is the best and I’m glad I freaked out with her.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
