Deck to Page #22
Deck: Mindful Souls – ‘Soul Bridges’
Category: BE = Discover Your Spiritual Side
Prompt: Do you believe what you’ve been brought up with?
“No.”
At least… not in the same way.
I was raised Catholic, but I never made communion because I could not handle catechism classes. I remember sitting there feeling like I was leaping out of my skin. Something about the environment felt constricting to me, even as a child. Week after week, I became more uncomfortable until eventually I asked my father if I could stop going.
And he let me.
That mattered more than I understood at the time.
What makes that decision even more meaningful is that my father himself had once been an altar boy. He understood the structure, the rituals, the expectations. But somewhere along the way, he made a choice for his own children: he would not force religion on us.
If we wanted to go because our grandparents encouraged it, he would support it. If we chose otherwise, that was okay too.
So occasionally, I went to church with my grandmother because I knew it made her happy. I can still picture it clearly. The quiet. The stained glass. The wooden pews. The familiar rhythm of standing, sitting, kneeling. For many people, those things bring comfort and peace.
For me, they sometimes bring tension.
I love old churches — the architecture and the feeling of history inside the walls. But even now, some part of me still instinctively looks for the nearest door. Not out of fear exactly. Just a quiet need for an exit. Space. Air. Freedom.
For a long time, I struggled with what that meant.
Did discomfort mean disbelief? Did questioning mean I lacked faith? Was there something wrong with me because I could not connect in the same way others seemed to?
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized the answer is no.
I do believe in a higher power. I do believe in God. I just believe in God in my own way.
Not through fear. Not through obligation. Not through memorized responses or trying to force myself into spaces that never felt aligned.
I find God in moments.
In the feeling that comes over you when someone says exactly what you needed to hear at exactly the right time. In the unexplainable pull toward healing. In the goosebumps during a conversation that feels bigger than the two people having it. In love. In intuition. In synchronicity. In survival. In second chances. In the moments life cracks you open and somehow puts you back together differently.
Over the years, I’ve met many people who quietly carry similar feelings. People who walked away from religion entirely. People who still attend church every Sunday but wrestle with questions they’re afraid to say aloud. People trying to separate spirituality from shame. People trying to reconnect with something sacred after feeling disconnected for years.
I think more of us are searching than we realize.
And maybe faith looks different for different people.
Maybe for some it’s found in prayer. For others, nature. For others, meditation. Service. Connection. Compassion. Community. Silence.
Maybe the point is not that we all believe the exact same thing. Maybe the point is whether what we believe helps us become more loving, more grounded, more aware, and more alive.
I no longer feel guilty for not fitting neatly inside the box I was handed as a child.
Some people are meant to inherit belief exactly as they were taught. Others have to walk out into the world and discover it piece by piece on their own.
I think I was always the second kind.
And honestly? I think there’s something sacred about that too.
Reflection Prompts:
- What beliefs from your childhood still resonate with you today?
- Have you ever mistaken discomfort for disbelief?
- Where do you feel most connected to something greater than yourself?
- What does faith mean to you now versus when you were younger?
- Have your spiritual beliefs evolved over time?
Theresa
Flexible Being
Empowering Your Journey to Healing, Clarity, and Self-Discovery.
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