One of my favorite days of the year is March 5. It is Gotcha Day for my family. For those of you not in the know, that is what most adoptive families call the day they got their child.
We got Josie March 5, 2007. Goodness. It’s hard to believe it was that long ago. I can close my eyes and it feels like yesterday. I’m immediately transported back to that cold government office in China. They called our name and an orphanage worker thrust a screaming baby at me. I don’t know who was more scared—her or us. Fuck. It was a lot. I honestly don’t know how I did it. Truth is, I was just too naive to know how scary it was. Looking back at it makes me a little nauseous.
Don’t get me wrong. I would not change a thing. I love Josie more than anything. She is a fantastic kid. I have no doubt in my mind she was meant to be ours. Very few other kids could thrive as she has on our particular brand of crazy. Josie takes it all in stride and just joins in the nonsense. She is amazing.
We celebrate Gotcha Day every year. It is like our second birthday. We eat our favorite foods. We get Josie a gift and sometimes watch videos of our time in China. It is different every year, but we always honor the date.
When Josie was younger, we would celebrate with a few of the families that traveled with us to China. Those are some of my favorite celebrations. The girls only saw each other once a year, but it was like they were never apart. It is such a beautiful bond.
It was also wonderful for us to get to talk to the other parents. You don’t realize how little you share with people about the challenges specific to being an adoptive parent until you are with others going through the same shit. This is also a beautiful bond. I love those families with my whole heart.
The two weeks we spent in China were probably the most stressful of my life. Not only was I trying to make nice with a 15-month-old stranger, but I also got a stomach parasite and a terrible cold. Then Josie started teething a couple of days in and cried nonstop. Other families said they walked by our room and heard the wailing and wished they could help. I’ve never been so tired and overwhelmed.
There was also the issue of Josie picking me as her person. I think she surveyed the situation and decided I looked the most harmless. She was sticking with me and no one else could touch her. No one else did either. She would not let me out of her sight. People, you don’t know what it is like to be needed until you try to change a tampon with a toddler on your lap.
It was not until we were in the Detroit airport on our way home that my husband held Josie. We had a three-hour layover and I was beaten down. We had already been traveling for nearly 24 hours. I was still sick and had lost more than 10 pounds in two weeks from stress and the parasite. I do not recommend this as a weight-loss technique.
Josie wandered off and Brett went to chase her. A few minutes later, I looked over and she was in his arms. We both had tears running down our faces. I was still her go-to person for a long time, but she loves her daddy and they are tight.
All families have their special days. Family is such a complex and diverse thing. Families are all made differently. That should be celebrated. I would not trade my family and how we got here for anything. They are my weirdos till the end. I’m so thankful the universe put us together. Happy Gotcha Day, Josie and Brett. I love you.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
