My internal thermostat is shot all to hell. Thanks, menopause. Seriously, what happened? I’m 53. I was in a perpetual state of cold till about 48. Now, I have no temperature regulation. I’m all over the place. However, I’m usually hot.
I’m currently sitting waiting for the comedian Taylor Tomlinson to come on stage at the Taft Theatre in Cincinnati. I was cold on the way up here and had my seat heater on low. I got out of the car, and it was chilly, so I put on a lightweight jacket. I’m in the theatre now, and I’m about to spontaneously combust. WTF!? Why is it so hot? I know there are a lot of bodies, but still. It’s a fucking inferno.
It is a balmy 58 degrees outside, and people are coming in here in long wool coats and scarves. Oh, to be young again.
I honestly cannot remember what it is like to be cold anymore.
It got down to like 32 degrees a couple of nights ago, and my husband left some of the windows open. The house was a bit chilly when I woke up, but I put on my robe and went about my business. This was nothing a cup of hot tea couldn’t fix.
I went knitting with my girls last week, and I strolled in wearing a t-shirt. The other ladies came in wearing ponchos and cowls they had knitted. All I could think was that I would burst into flames with wool wrapped around my neck.
This has become a problem with my knitting. I primarily like to knit with wool, but actually wearing what I make has proved damn near impossible. It’s too fucking hot. I have a whole drawer full of cute knitted goods that I just can’t wear.
This time of the year is the worst. It’s cold in the morning, but it warms up. I never know what to put on to start my day that will not result in a total outfit change.
I was in a yoga class last week and begged the instructor to turn on the fans. My face was on fire, and I thought I was going to stroke out. Plus, I had just had my eyes dilated at the eye doc, so I was wearing sunglasses in class. I’m sure everyone else thought I was a loon. That was a fair assessment.
My late bestie, Diana, suffered hot flashes for more than 20 years. I used to make fun of her. I feel terrible about it now and worry my karma may send me into the same fate. God, I hope not. She was always about to burst into flames. Nothing gave me more joy than seeing her walk into my office wearing a terry-cloth headband. I immediately broke out into Olivia Newton-John’s Let’s get Physical. FTR, she did not find me nearly as entertaining as I found myself. Alas…all the jokes can’t land.
I don’t know the answer to this temperature conundrum. It sucks. I guess layers are my best bet, but that is often hard, too. I hate to carry a lot of shit.
Aging is hard—especially for women. I know I drone on about that a lot, but it occupies a good deal of my headspace. People, just make things cold. I can always wear layers, but no one wants to see all this naked.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
