I heard recently on a podcast that studies have shown cursing is a sign of intelligence. I really fucking want to believe it. However, my complete lack of understanding of most math makes me think otherwise.
I’m a pretty good person overall. I love my family and friends. I’m a hard worker. I’m very kind to animals. I obey the law. I give to charity. However, my mouth is foul (I also love red wine, but that is a topic for another day). It seems to be getting worse the older I get. I worry.
My husband told me the other day someone he works with commented on how much control I had over my mouth when she was at our house picking something up. “She didn’t cuss once!” Are people just waiting to see what shit is going to fly out of my mouth next? What else have I said around this person? Does my reputation precede me? This person also told my husband that I yelled, “Golly-gee!” in this same conversation in lieu of profanity. I can assure you that did not happen.
When we were preparing to travel to China to get our daughter, I decided to clean up my act. I took several words out for a test drive to see if they could be an acceptable substitute for a strong curse word. One of my dearest friends had a connecting office. He may have jumped the first time I yelled, “Crikey!” It didn’t stick. Nothing really did. Y’all, there are few things better in life than a good “Fuck!” See what I did there? Point made. Yes, I may also have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy.
I did pretty well the first few years we had our daughter. It was really hard. However, a friend did point out that my mouth went from 0-60 in under 10 seconds when I was away from my child. Perhaps. I’m only human.
I finally gave up the fight when my daughter was in middle school. She heard the same shit at school as I was saying, so “screw it.” See! I can still tone it down when need be.
Josie was a prude about my potty mouth until high school. Then she embraced it. I do not care if she cusses—as long as it is not done inappropriately and she must respect others. She doesn’t do it all the time, but when she does, it is well-expressed and well-timed. She gets it. It usually makes me laugh. I know. I’m not getting any parenting awards.
I also scored huge bonus points with Josie’s bestie when she said something and I whipped out, “That’s what she said.” Yeah, I’m that mom.
I make pledges in my head periodically to quit or at least cut back on the profanity. But at the end of the day, times are really tough right now for this tree-hugger. So, I’m going to drop that F-bomb. I will do my best not to drop it in front of your four-year-old, but beyond that, fuck it.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
