I have one child. My daughter, Josie, is now 18. She was adopted from China. We brought her home when she was 15 months old. I believe with my whole heart she was meant to be ours and there is not another child on the planet who would fit better in our family.
As I have raised her and watched her grow into a wonderful young woman, I have always been cognizant of nature versus nurture.
I watch her do certain things and I can link them to myself or my husband. However, sometimes she will do or say something and I’m like, “Fuck. Where did that come from? That shit is totally hard-wired in.” It really is fascinating.
She definitely has our sense of humor—a little dark and off-color. We all find the same stuff funny and laugh a lot. I feel that is all nurture.
Josie is also kind, compassionate and a great friend. I would also like to think this is nurture.
Here is where nature comes in, this kid has drive and determination for days. My husband and I are both hard-working and successful in our fields, but this kid is next level. I have never been as determined in my life to do anything as Josie is about most everything. This has to be all DNA. She is just a damn honey badger. I love it, but it is also exhausting and I don’t always understand it.
On the flip side, I often think she doesn’t understand us. When we say, “It’s okay as long as you did your best.” She will reply, “I want an A” or “I want to win.” The kid has never made a B and she is competitive AF.
I should point out she attended college full-time during her last two years of high school. It boggled my mind. Yes, she is smart, but it is her work ethic that has gotten her this far. She works her ass off.
The perfect example of how differently we are wired happened in her sophomore year. She was taking a dual-credit chemistry class. She texted me and told me to pick her up a little later from school. She wanted to stay after to correct some answers on a test for extra credit. Fine. When I got her, I asked what she got on the test and she told me a 96. I gave her the side eye and then asked how many more points she got for the extra credit. She said, “Two.” I literally banged my head on the steering wheel.
For the record, if this bitch got a 96 on a dual-credit Chemistry exam, I would have jumped up on the teacher’s desk and dropped the mic. When I asked her if she really stayed late for just two more points she said, “Why would I leave any points on the table.” How can I argue that? However, I don’t understand it. Am I just lazy? Maybe.
In the end, human beings are so wild and unique. It is fascinating. I love watching my daughter grow and change. It’s great to see cool things we have contributed to her personality. It is equally great to see the things that are all her and we had nothing to do with. I love it all.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
