A Personal Journey Towards Mindset Shifts
As I navigate life at 45 years old, almost 46 come December, I’ve noticed that anxiety has become an unwelcome companion more often than before. Life is full, raising teenagers, managing a career, and juggling all the roles we play as women, but lately, it feels like my anxiety has intensified. Add in the horrible migraines that seem to come out of nowhere, and it’s been harder to find a sense of calm amidst these ailments.
I know I’m not alone in this. Many women experience heightened stress and anxiety as we move through our 40s. Hormonal changes, the increasing mental load, and shifting priorities all play a role. But I also know that while we can’t control every circumstance, we can control how we respond. For me, this has meant leaning into mindset shifts that help me find more peace, even on the hardest days.
** First and foremost, find a doctor and talk to them, you might need talk therapy, medication, supplements, prescription, or combo.
1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling Without Judgment
For so long, I would push my feelings aside, thinking, “I don’t have time to feel this anxious,” or “I should be handling things better by now.” But the truth is, pretending that anxiety isn’t there only makes it stronger. Recently, I’ve been practicing acknowledging my feelings without judgment. When the anxiety creeps in, I try to pause, breathe, and simply say, “Okay, I see you.” This has been a game changer for me. It doesn’t make the anxiety disappear, but it takes away some of its power. In the personal development and spiritual space sometimes we are taught to “cleans” and “clear” the feeling. Have the anxiety or anger or whatever feeling and emotions we are having to move through us. That isn’t always possible. We have to learn to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and hold space for it.
2. Let Go of the Pressure to Control Everything
As a mom and a business owner, I’ve always been the person who tries to keep everything running smoothly. But what I’ve realized, especially since turning 45, is that trying to control every detail of life only adds to the anxiety. I’ve learned that it’s okay to let go of the pressure to have everything figured out. Whether it’s work deadlines, my kids’ schedules, or even my own health, there are things I simply can’t control. But what I can control is how I react. Instead of spiraling, I’ve been reminding myself that doing my best is enough, and that mindset shift has brought me a lot of peace. A good mantra I am using it, ” Trust Flow, Surrender Let Go.”
3. Reframe the Negative Thought Loops
It’s easy to fall into a loop of “what if” thoughts when anxiety hits. For me, the migraines and stress often bring on thoughts like, “What if this never gets better?” ” Why is everything so hard for me.”, “Why can’t I just have a normal or easy day?” But I’ve been working on reframing those thoughts, even in small ways. Instead of thinking, “I can’t handle this,” I tell myself, “I’ve handled tough things before, and I’ll get through this too.” It doesn’t erase the anxiety, but it helps me approach it with more compassion for myself.
4. Carve Out Time for Rest (Even When It Feels Impossible)
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned recently is that rest is non-negotiable. I used to push through, thinking there’s no time to slow down. But the more I ignored my need for rest, the worse my anxiety and migraines became. Now, I’m more intentional about creating space for myself, whether it’s through yoga, meditation, or simply sitting in silence for a few minutes each day. It’s not easy to prioritize rest when life feels overwhelming, but I’ve found that even the smallest pockets of rest can make a huge difference.
5. Gratitude and Staying Present
As I’ve been working through this chapter of my life, practicing gratitude has been a grounding force. Anxiety often pulls me into the future, worrying about what’s next or what could go wrong. But when I take a moment to reflect on what I’m grateful for whether it’s my daughters, the support of a friend or my parents, or even the fact that I got through another tough day, it helps me stay present. Gratitude doesn’t solve everything, but it brings me back to the here and now, which is often where the peace lives.
6. Leaning on Support When It’s Needed
One thing I’ve learned from the increased anxiety since turning 45 is that I can’t do it all alone, and I don’t have to. Whether it’s talking to a friend, reaching out to a professional, or simply sharing what I’m going through with someone who understands, asking for help has been a lifeline. Sometimes just knowing I’m not carrying it all by myself makes the weight a little lighter.
Nikki Lanigan
Nikki Lanigan is a yoga, HIIT, and Barre instructor, she is also a Holistic Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Nikki is trained in Yoga Shred, Yoga Psychology, meditation, chakra balancing, and EFT/Tapping. She has done trainings with Sadie Nardini and Ashley Turner. She got her 200 hour yoga teacher training in 2017 at the Carrie Treister School Of Yoga. Nikki takes a holistic view of health, helping her students and clients reach a place of self-love not just through movement, but with mindset and lifestyle guidance as well. Nikki is also show prep writer for The McVay Media Show Prep and host of the podcast Fit, Fun, and Frazzled. Connect with Nikki on Instagram. www.instagram.com/nikkilanigan.yogaandwellness www.instagram.com/fitfunandfrazzledpodcast
