And I Am Not Okay About It
In one week, the clocks spring forward. One hour disappears, but the evenings stay lighter longer, but somehow it feels like time speeds up even more. Why does the year feel like it’s flying by?
January felt slow and reflective, February felt loud, and like everyone had some type of cold or virus, and now here we are, staring at March, about to lose an hour of sleep, and in three short months my oldest, my mini me, my baby, will be graduating high school. I am having all the feels.
The Spring Forward Effect
Every March, when we shift into Daylight Saving Time, it hits me in a deeper way than just losing an hour. The time change symbolizes momentum. We are moving forward, the days are stretching, summer is peeking around the corner. There is something about lighter evenings that makes everything feel closer. Closer to graduation, closer to endings, closer to change.
It feels like the universe whispering, ready or not, here we go.
Why Does Time Feel Like It’s Speeding Up?
There is actual psychology behind this. As we age, time feels faster because each year becomes a smaller percentage of our total lived experience. When you are five, one year is twenty percent of your life. When you are forty five, one year is just a small fraction, knowing the science doesn’t make it easier.
When your child is a toddler, the days feel long, exhausting, but the years move quickly. Now I look at this almost adult human ( yes, technically she is an adult and 18) in my house and I can still see the toddler. The gap toothed elementary school kid who loved Selena Gomez, Disney’s Ticker Bell, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Lemonade Mouth, and Taylor Swift (who she still loves). The middle school phase that let me tell ya, they will tell you you’re wrong no matter what. They will push your buttons, and one of the more funnier times when my oldest was a tween and in her let’s be mean to mom middle school phase that almost all girls go through…. when she was mad at me she would tell me I talk like a Kardashian and sound like a Kardashian. I would get so mad too, I would say I do not sound like them or talk like them. She knew it pushed my buttons. We laugh at this now because why did I get so mad at that haha. I guess I sound like a valley girl, but love them or hate them they are very smart and business savvy. Then there was the high school freshman with nervous excitement, getting her temps, then license and my anxiety never came down. Now she is about to graduate.
How did we get here?
There is pride, sooo much pride, there is also grief. No one really prepares you for the quiet grief of milestones. The kind that shows up when you are folding laundry or driving alone, the kind that feels like nostalgia mixed with awe.
I am proud of the woman she is becoming. Se is strong, kind, capable, independent, and both of my girls have this deep hearted sweet, sweet endearing side. They are both so freaking smart and have emotional intelligence already. They also both speak up against misogyny. But I am also grieving the version of motherhood where she needed me for EVERYTHING.
Spring is right around the corner and it feels very symbolic. Growth, transition, blooming, and becoming. Growth also requires letting go.
This month is Women’s History Month.
“Here’s to strong women.
May we know them.
May we be them.
May we raise them.”
Raising strong women is not just about teaching independence. It is about modeling it. It is about letting them see us evolve too. It is about showing them that midlife is not an ending. It is a powerful beginning. As my daughter prepares to graduate and step into her next chapter, I feel the invitation for my own next chapter as well. Spring forward is not just about losing an hour. It is about stepping into the light a little more boldly.
The Year Is Flying By, So Let’s Slow It Down
If you are feeling this too, whether your babies are graduating, driving, or just growing faster than your heart can keep up, you are not alone.
Instead of panicking about how fast it’s going, maybe this week we:
- Sit at the kitchen table a little longer
- Take the picture, even if they roll their eyes
- Go on the walk
- Ask the deeper question
- Watch the show together
Time will keep moving, the clocks will spring forward whether we are ready or not, but presence stretches moments in a way nothing else can.
In three months, I will sit at a graduation ceremony and cry through most of it. But today, I still get random conversations in the kitchen, I still get late night chats, I get the panicked texts when they are nervous about a test or exam, I get most of the details on stories and drama going on, I still get to be her mom, always and forever and ever!
Nikki Lanigan
Nikki Lanigan is a yoga, HIIT, and Barre instructor, she is also a Holistic Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Nikki is trained in Yoga Shred, Yoga Psychology, meditation, chakra balancing, and EFT/Tapping. She has done trainings with Sadie Nardini and Ashley Turner. She got her 200 hour yoga teacher training in 2017 at the Carrie Treister School Of Yoga. Nikki takes a holistic view of health, helping her students and clients reach a place of self-love not just through movement, but with mindset and lifestyle guidance as well. Nikki is also show prep writer for The McVay Media Show Prep and host of the podcast Fit, Fun, and Frazzled. Connect with Nikki on Instagram. www.instagram.com/nikkilanigan.yogaandwellness www.instagram.com/fitfunandfrazzledpodcast
