There was a time when I was known as Mary, as in Mary Poppins. I had everything in my handbag. EVERYTHING. Long days at cheer competitions, tournaments, recitals, you name it, I was prepared like a woman heading into battle with snacks. Carrot sticks and celery sticks, Cheez-Its, Chex Mix, birthday candles (no clue why), hair bands, bobby pins, first aid kit, Bad-Aids, socks, if someone needed something I most likely had it.
Fast forward to midlife parenting teens and the handbag is lighter metaphorically ( come on, I am who I am and my bag is still full,) but somehow the parenting job is bigger.
Now it’s less, “Mom, do you have snacks?” And more, “Can you DoorDash us food?”, “Can you Instacart this?” “Can you Venmo me money?” “Can I vent for a second?” “Where are my socks, my black leggings, etc”
I’m still the scheduler, calendar, the ride for my youngest, the bank account, the therapist. Still the one who knows everyone’s practice times, early release days from school, late start days to school, no school day, and emotional states they are in.
Yes my bag still might be full but so is my phone with apps…. DoorDash, Venmo, Instacart, school portal, school clubs portal, school sports apps, club sports schedule apps, parent group chats, senior class group chat, their friends moms group chats
It’s the same role, just upgraded to digital Mary Poppins.
The Evolution of the Mom Bag
Yes my purse still probably weighs about 40 pounds they might not need the physical things in my purse anymore as much but the non physical things they need more.
Snacks are replaced with delivery apps.
Band-Aids are replaced with advice.
Hair ties are replaced with emotional support texts.
Instead of handing over a juice box, I’m sending a Venmo.
Instead of packing snacks, I’m coordinating pot luck for a school or friend group function or party.
Instead of tying bows, I’m helping navigate friendships, stress, and big life questions.
The needs changed, but the role didn’t.
Still the Safe Place
Even though they’re older, they still come to you. For dinner and meals, my oldest still wants me to go with her to her hair appointments, they text me at school when they are on the verge of a panic attack before a big test or exam and I talk to them and try to help calm them down. They come to vent about something and you listen, you give advice when asked. I even say do you want to vent, advice, help with a solution, or to laugh ( I heard this somewhere awhile ago and I put in my brain to remember when they got older)
You stay quiet when they just need to talk. You realize that the Mary Poppins phase wasn’t just about snacks and supplies, it was about being the person they could count on. That part doesn’t go away.
The Midlife Mom Reality
Now you’re parenting while also navigating midlife yourself.
You’re thinking about hormones, sleep, workouts, careers, and the fact that the grocery bill is now the size of a small mortgage. You’re still managing everything, but with a little more humor and a lot more perspective.
You know what matters. You know what doesn’t. You know that sometimes the best parenting move is ordering food, sitting together, and laughing about the day.
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Yes, I am still the mom with the endless bag of supplies, but now with the apps, the advice, and the open ear. Still the scheduler. The default parent, the one carrying the mental load, and honestly, I wouldn’t trade it!
Even on the days when the group chats are chaotic, the requests are constant, and someone asks for DoorDash five minutes after you just bought groceries.
I know that one day, the requests will slow down. The car will be quieter, the bag will be lighter, so for now, I’ll keep showing up. With snacks, with DoorDash, with advice, a listening ear, and probably a phone charger.
Mary Poppins, just in a midlife version.
Nikki Lanigan
Nikki Lanigan is a yoga, HIIT, and Barre instructor, she is also a Holistic Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Nikki is trained in Yoga Shred, Yoga Psychology, meditation, chakra balancing, and EFT/Tapping. She has done trainings with Sadie Nardini and Ashley Turner. She got her 200 hour yoga teacher training in 2017 at the Carrie Treister School Of Yoga. Nikki takes a holistic view of health, helping her students and clients reach a place of self-love not just through movement, but with mindset and lifestyle guidance as well. Nikki is also show prep writer for The McVay Media Show Prep and host of the podcast Fit, Fun, and Frazzled. Connect with Nikki on Instagram. www.instagram.com/nikkilanigan.yogaandwellness www.instagram.com/fitfunandfrazzledpodcast
