I just saw a brilliant post by a college friend on Facebook. It read, “If you are a person who answers the late-night work emails or texts, or who is reachable on weekends and vacations, just know that YOU are the ones fucking this up for EVERYBODY. Stop it.”
This is the truth. I fear I am becoming this person. I try very hard to set boundaries, I really do. Here’s the rub. I’m self-employed and if I don’t take the work when I get it, I don’t get paid. It’s hard.
On top of that, I have multiple clients in different time zones. Some days this means I may be answering an email or phone call at 6:30 a.m. and doing the same at 6:30 p.m. It can be a lot. I do however try desperately hard to work defined hours.
When I branched out on my own, I swore I would not fall victim to the always-being-accessible trap. I lived that nightmare for nearly a decade at a former job. We were expected to be reachable pretty much 24/7.
I was once home sick with an extreme stomach virus. I had been puking for nearly 24 hours. I actually managed to fall asleep on the couch and did not hear my cell phone vibrate. I had turned the ringer off. A few minutes later my home phone rang and scared the fuck out of me. Yes, these were the good ol’ days. I had a landline.
All the worst scenarios ran through my head: something happened to my daughter at daycare, my husband was in a wreck, my mom and aunt were in jail for robbing a bank. Seriously, anything can happen with those two.
I grabbed the phone and managed a very sickly hello. It was the president of my company. Due to my state, I was very confused. He started by telling me I sounded terrible. No shit.
Apparently, he tried my cell, and when I did not answer he called a friend in my department to get my home number. She told him I was sick. That was irrelevant. I don’t remember what he was calling about except for the fact it was not urgent and could totally have waited a day—or five.
What I do remember is, about halfway into whatever he was yammering on about, I told him to hold on and I ran to the bathroom and vomited. I purposefully held the phone near the toilet so he could hear me retching.
When I returned to the phone he said, “Well, that was gross” and went back to the topic at hand. He did not give two shits that I was sick or this conversation could have waited. He just wanted to check an item off his to-do list.
This past week I was at the beach with my parents. I had to work. I always have to work some on vacation, but I put in more hours than I should have this time.
I love my clients. I want to do a good job for them. Most days I really like what I do. This is not the point. Full disclosure: I didn’t even tell my clients I was out of town. That is all on me. I took a week off a couple of months ago and didn’t feel like I was entitled to do it again so soon. Yes, I know. I’m crazy.
This is why my friend is so right. We collectively have to stop this crap or we are all going to go mad. It has to be a group effort or it will not work. I have to be the change I wish to see, dammit!
For those of you who think it’s not possible, read the book The Year of Living Danishly by Helen Russell. Those Nordic countries have it right. It may be cold as fuck, but there is a reason they are always named the happiest people on earth. The rest of us have got to get our shit together and just say, “Enough.” Working long isn’t the only sign of working hard.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
