My daughter, Josie recently accompanied my side of the family on a Disney adventure. She wanted to write about it, so I’m turning things over to her and taking this week off. Hope you enjoy her stories as much as she enjoyed her trip. Cheers!
Hello there! Josie here. You might be wondering: How preposterous can a vacation get? I mean, the whole concept of a vacation is downtime and relaxation. Well, not quite in this case. Sit back and relax. I’m about to dive into the ridiculousness that is my family and our Disney World adventure.
Let me sum up the 13-hour car ride. It felt like my entire life was spent in that van. With five other people and a bunch of random shit piled in, it was horrible. 80’s music (most notably Running Up that Hill by Kate Bush) and a dozen murder mystery podcasts were my lifelines. Personally, I believe car rides longer than 10 hours should be considered a form of torture. It’s unbearable. When we arrived and I finally stepped out of the vehicle, my legs breathed a sigh of relief.
In the mornings, we traveled on Disney Skyline, a system of straps and carts that carry you from point A to point B in the air. This was our main source of transportation. At the end of every day, Nana would have well over 15,000 steps accumulated on her Fitbit. She was the least active out of the bunch. So, if you’re worried you will be less active on a vacation to Disney World, have no fear. One night, we’d finished watching fireworks at EPCOT and we were headed back to the hotel after a long day. I saw a good photo opportunity, and like a ninja, I snapped a picture of Nana and Warren, side by side, looking beat down. Nana was a zombie. Unfortunately, I wasn’t granted permission to post it.
The first and scariest ride of the trip was located in Hollywood Studios: The Hollywood Tower of Terror. Allegedly, paranormal activity has been witnessed at this hotel, specifically on an infamous elevator. When you ride the elevator, it drops you (very rapidly) from the top floor all the way down (multiple times). I am informing you this, dear readers, because when we reached first in line, Aunt Rachael broke the news to me this ride was in fact NOT a rollercoaster, which I’d been expecting for the last 65 minutes. My eyes were closed the whole time, while I contemplated my life. Due to this, I can’t give you much detail on what I perceived as being 200 feet up in the air. I would’ve preferred a rollercoaster.
While touring Disney, we crossed paths with a variety of characters. There were several Disney princesses, which I’m not very knowledgeable about (my mom isn’t a fan of Disney, so therefore I can’t recall which one lost a glass slipper). I spotted a ginger with a big blue elegant dress, but her face didn’t ring a bell. I asked a nice-looking worker who she was. She responded, voice a bit strangled, “That’s Ariel…” She shot me the stink eye for a couple minutes afterwards.
My personal favorite was interacting with Mulan. She told me, “Oh my gosh it’s like I’m looking at my reflection!” For those of you who don’t know, I’m Chinese. So, a Chinese princess telling me we looked the same felt all sorts of good and weird simultaneously. I went with it. We got a picture together.
Now one of my favorite parts to talk about: The bedpost. My family is fairly well coordinated. However, some of us just seemed to keep running into it. Late at night, when one of us would take a bathroom trip, it wasn’t uncommon to hear a *thump* then some foul language I know my mom uses in her blog posts. I even kept tallies of how many times those people ran into that thing—and got quotes!
Me: 1 *internally crying out in pain*
Warren: 0
Nana: 1 “God bless America!”
Brooke: 10 or something “Jesus!”
Gavin: 2 or 3 “Argh!”
Rachel: 8 or 9 “I have the bruises to prove it. Damn bed post!”
As a whole, the trip was a success. We ate well, saw many beautiful sights and spent quality time with each other. A pro tip: If you want some extra food at the café, sweet talk the workers and your wish is their command. Warren and I figured that out halfway through the trip. Also, if you were wondering, the car ride back home was just as torturous.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
