There are two kinds of people in this world: those who yard sale and those who do not. I’m the latter. It’s not that I think I’m above it. I just don’t have the time or patience to riffle through other people’s shit in hopes of finding something I like and/or can use. I also have way too much crap in my house to start bringing home stuff others no longer want.
It is actually surprising yard sales are not my jam. I’m very much like my Granny. She lived for yard sales. It was her sport. She was continually gathering stuff to hold a yard sale and would stop on a dime if she spotted one whilst driving. She even read the paper to find out where yard sales would be. If they were in a “good neighborhood,” all the better!
I went to countless yard sales with my granny as a child. I didn’t hate them. I was really just indifferent. I do remember Granny buying me a kick-ass electric blue bike at one, so I did benefit.
As an adult I have multiple friends who hold yard sales on the regular. I have never done one and have zero desire to try it. I feel like if I don’t want a bunch of my shit, why would anyone else? Also, I am not going to spend days prepping for a yard sale and then drag my ass out of bed at 6 a.m. on a Saturday to make a couple hundred bucks—if I’m lucky. The cost-reward ratio sucks. I know this and I’m terrible at math.
A few days ago, I was taking a short cut to the grocery on a Saturday. Traffic was crazy on this small country road. I wondered what the hell was going on. About that time a car appeared on my side of the road followed by a woman standing in the middle of the road. WTF? It was a yard sale. These people just stopped in the middle of a small two-lane road to have a look. People were trying to get around and it was nuts. I looked over at the crap scattered across the lawn. Best I could tell, some Roy Rogers wagon wheel end tables must have caught these people’s eye. It’s a wonder there was not a wreck or this woman was not hit. I’m not dying for a yard sale. I will plant my flag on that hill.
My bestie and I were recently discussing yard sales as a way to get rid of stuff and de-clutter. We both agreed that is why Goodwill exists. I firmly believe in up-cycling and reusing, but I’m not going to spend days of my life trying to sell crap I no longer want. I’m putting that shit in a Hefty bag and sending my husband off with it.
Then, there is the question of time. I’m not spending my precious weekend hours rummaging through stuff others no longer want. I just can’t convince myself this is a good use of my time. This, coupled with the fact I’m terrible at haggling (the actual worst) and would end up paying a ridiculous amount for a pair of 1985 Gloria Vanderbilt jeans is more than I’m willing to deal with.
My neighborhood is big on the yard sales. When I walk or run on the weekends, I have to dodge the yard sale traffic. Not once have I stopped. I do not feel that pull. That is exactly what I think it is—a pull. My Granny felt a gravitational pull toward a yard sale. Perhaps it could be an interesting hobby. Alas, I’m going to give my crap away and leave the joys of rummaging through other’s castoffs to the professionals. I’m a novice and just don’t have the energy.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
