There is something special about finding a new friend—one that really gets you and with whom you have much in common. I have such a friend. We recently spent two days together in a cabin and did some hiking. Yes, we did hike, but mostly we talked. We talked a lot.
I met this friend through my daughter. My friend’s son and my daughter became besties when they went away to school. These two kids have a lot in common, not the least of which is they were both adopted from the same province in China.
Josie and Graeme are so much alike. Both of our families became fascinated with each other. Then, one day, my friend, Margaret, and I were picking up the kids for the weekend. The kids came out and saw us talking and said, “This is why we are alike. We were raised by the same woman.” Indeed, Margaret and I are very similar.
Our friendship has grown over the last two and a half years as we have spent more time together and with the kids. It’s funny because we first met in an elevator at school orientation. Neither of us said much, but we both obviously knew we were adoptive parents.
Being an adoptive parent, I’m drawn to other adoptive parents like a moth to a flame. I want to know their story and to share mine. Adoption is such a big part of my life, but I’m not often around people I can share the experience with and hear their stories.
I get very excited when I see another adoptive family, but I try to play it cool because I don’t want to assume others have the same longing to compare experiences as I do. However, most often I have found they do.
When Josie was really little we met with another adoptive family for a jazz concert and picnic. I brought along one of my best friends. We had a great time. On the way home my friend commented on how little she knew about the obstacles I faced as an adoptive parent and how different my experience was from hers as a biological parent.
I had never really thought about how little I shared with other moms with biological children. Our points of reference are just really different. To be honest, I wouldn’t know what the hell to do with a baby younger than 15 months. That is when I got my daughter. I know nothing about colic, nursing and swaddling.
The weekend Margaret and I spent together we talked about all things related to Chinese adoption. She has done it twice. I wanted to know everything about both experiences. Her stories were beautiful and I could relate. We laughed, we came close to crying and we just bonded over the wonder of our kids.
Josie and Graeme have stayed together for college. They continue to build their friendship. I hope to do the same with Margaret. I think we just get each other and have very similar parenting styles. I love this woman.
Shared experiences often bring us together. I’m so grateful to share my adoption experience with a kick-ass mom like Margaret. I hope we stay friends and embarrass our kids for years to come.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
