About two years ago, we installed a dog door. This was a direct result of my youngest German Shorthair Pointer, Mavis, wanting to go outside continuously throughout the day while I was trying to work. I got my steps in, but it was not efficient for me work-wise. Something had to be done.
Mavis took to the door immediately and now comes and goes all day long like she is the queen of the world. Hazel, our older GSP goes out just fine, but likes to be invited back in. Apparently, she is part vampire. Dogs are weird.
All was fine with the dog door for a while, but then things started to turn up missing. We couldn’t find them anywhere in the house. Maybe it was a sock, perhaps a box of cereal, or even a knitting needle. Stuff was just gone.
Then my husband went out to the back yard to mow and came in with an armload of shit. He proudly declared, “Look what I found in Mavis’ hole!” Yes, Mavis had been working on a rather large hole in the back yard and was filling it with our stuff. Initially, we thought she planned on burying one of us back there, so it was a bit of a relief to discover she was just hoarding our stuff.
Over the past two years, we have found countless things out there—a devoured box of Kind bars, various other snacks that are too many to name, and once, a five-pound bag of potatoes. The potatoes amused us greatly. We at least felt like she was being helpful and trying to grow something for future nourishment. Little weirdo.
She once tried to carry a seven-pound bag of steel-cut oats out the door. It was a paper bag, and of course, it ripped, creating little mounds of oats both in and out of the house. She apparently ate some of those oats, given the smell of her ass later that evening. Shew.
Yes, we do fuss at her and try to discipline her for carrying shit out back, but her head is a cinder block, and it does very little good. Mavis marches to the beat of her own drum. So now when shit comes up missing, we always check the back yard first.
Just this morning, I heard my husband cuss from the bedroom as I was sitting on the couch drinking tea. He came stomping through the house, complaining that his brown belt was not where he always kept it. His first response was to look for it out back. It was not there. As luck would have it, Mavis was innocent for once, and he accidentally threw the belt in the clothes hamper.
What was out in the back yard were about five socks from our poor dog sitter, who is probably now back at college with bare feet. Sorry Abbey. We love you. I even texted Abbey from vacation to tell her to keep an eye on the backyard, and sure enough, Mavis had already been at work.
I don’t anticipate this ending anytime soon. Her worst culprit is my throw blankets. She has a real vendetta against blankets, and mine are always out back. She will even kick grass on them in an effort to hide them. As you can imagine, I buy cheap throw blankets.
At the end of the day, we find it both frustrating and amusing. My knitting ladies love hearing tales of Mavis’ latest escapades. I can’t get too mad at her as she is cute AF and loves me unconditionally. We also have buns of steel from all the trips up and down the steps to recover Mavis’s latest thievery. It all works out, I suppose.
Angela Traver
What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.
