You Can Do Hard Things

I’m nearly 50 years-old. I recently received some of the best advice/encouragement ever from another parent who has lived through, what I’m preparing to do. She said, “You can do hard things.” Seems basic, but most good advice is usually.

Yes. I realize I should know this after being on the planet for half a century. While I have lived a good life, full of love, I’ve also been through some shit. So, why are these words just now striking a chord? My 16-year-old daughter and only child is leaving home. She will complete her last two years of high school at a college two hours away from me. That is fucking hard.

Do I want this for her? Yes. With my whole heart. Do I cry about it most every day? Also, yes.

She has worked so hard to make this happen. She has talked about it for years and she got the job done. From the application to the essays to landing an interview. It was all her. I could not be prouder. That doesn’t make it any easier.

I feel like it was just yesterday when someone handed me a screaming baby, dressed in way too many clothes at a government office in China. I don’t know who was more scared—her or us. It was probably a tie. Now she is ready to go off and do things, hopefully, good (maybe great) things.

I have a very close relationship with my daughter. Rarely does a day go by when we don’t spend time talking about important things in her life. Yes, I know she doesn’t tell me everything, but she tells me a lot. Nothing makes me happier than when I hear her say, “My mom is my best friend.” While I like being considered a friend, I’m a mom first and I stay up her ass about something pretty consistently. However, she is a really good kid. I know how lucky I am.

What I don’t have time for in all of this is people asking me, “How can you let her leave home two years early?” My answer is, “How can I not?” It is an amazing opportunity and she wants it so badly. This kid has been planning for her future since she we first met. Granted, in the early days, that future was probably just her next snack. However, she is always planning. I will not make her pass on something she has worked so hard for, just so I can put off the inevitable. I know this will be good for her. She was made for this sort of thing.

So, now I give her wings. Isn’t that how the saying goes? I will always be her mom. She knows I’m here for her no matter what. I have to trust I did the right stuff for the last 15 years and she will make good choices, or at least not disastrous ones. I have faith in her.

So, the countdown of lasts begins: the last high school soccer practice, the last time I pack her lunch, the last time I tuck her in, the last time I pick her up from school, the last band concert, the last time I attempt to help her with homework and the list goes on. It is so hard to not get wrapped up in all the lasts—especially for an overthinker like myself.

I can do hard things. I know this. Come August, I will take her to her new school (which happens to be my alma mater). I will hug her tighter than I have ever hugged her. I will tell her for the millionth time how proud I am of her and how much I love her. I will make her promise to call and text me regularly (which she won’t). I will sob uncontrollably all the way home. Then there will be wine. LOTS of wine.

Follow me on social @kyspiritsgal or check out my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com. Cheers!

Angela Traver

What is this blog about? Well, it's a general blog, but it is also a very specific blog. If you get that reference, you get a gold star! I have been a public relations professional and writer of press releases for more than 20 years—primarily in the booze biz. I decided to do some writing for fun and embrace the humor that gets me through most days. Hopefully it will make you chuckle—or at least smile. I’m a certified crazy magnet, and more than a little nutty myself, so buckle up. Also, I have two vices—profanity and red wine/whiskey. You’ve been warned. It should also be noted, that I’m a HUGE Bob & Sheri fan. I’ve been a listener for more than 20 years. This opportunity is a dream come true and it may have made me cry. That being said, I cry at everything. If you are into booze, dogs, food and/or knitting, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (although I’m terrible at Twitter and it scares me) @kyspiritsgal. You can also find all my previous blog posts at www.kyspiritsgal.com.