My husband was in Europe. At 3:30 a.m. the security alarm went off in my home. We set it every night after locking our doors but we never linked it to an actual security company. So the next step was up to me.
Heart pounding out of my chest and mind racing, I leapt out of bed and quickly scanned the room. Walked down the hall and checked both of my kids to make sure they were safe and sound; cell phone in hand, hands shaking violently, somehow I managed to hit 911.
The voice on the other end came quickly . . . “911, what’s your emergency”? Breathless, I blurted out “someone is trying to break in, I’m upstairs, husband is out of town . . . please help.” The operator spoke with a calm voice and said an officer is on the way; please stay on the line with me until he arrives. After what seemed like forever but was actually only 5 minutes, a knock came at the door. The operator informed me the officer was on my front porch.
Seeing the man in blue with badge on his chest and gun in holster immediately solicited a feeling of relief. “Hello mam, are you OK?” I have no idea how I answered. “I have already checked the entire perimeter of the house and there is nothing suspicious. Would you like me to take a look inside?” Of course I said, absolutely!! “All clear” he said in a comforting tone. My fear factor instantly dropped from a full blown 10 to about 3, he calmed my nerves by telling me one of my alarm sensors on the back window had gotten wet by the rain and had gone off and that it wasn’t unusual in newly built homes. THANK GOD.
I thanked the officer profusely and was able to go back to bed with gratitude in my heart for those who are sworn to protect and serve.
My message? Men and Women in Blue – We Need You! We need you when someone is trying to break into our homes, when we hear a gunshot coming from the woods behind our house, when we find out a drug dealer is living next door in our cul-de-sac. We count on you to keep us safe, to come to our rescue in the middle of the night or the light of day.
But there’s a flipside of the coin.
Because of who I am and the neighborhood and culture in which I was raised, when I see an officer with a gun standing in front of a convenient store, a bank or roaming the halls of a federal building, I have one emotional response – I feel more safe and more secure. This is my white female experience of growing up in a non-crime ridden community.
Unfortunately there are those who haven’t had the luxury of that built-in response to those who have sworn to serve and protect. Because of the color of their skin (and we all know the horrific stories by now) many of our fellow black Americans reflexive reaction isn’t “thank God, you’re here” but rather “dear God, please don’t let me die.” It’s a reality that must be addressed and extracted from any and all of our citizen’s experience.
It’s not good cops fault that this stigma exists. It is the history of systemic racism lurking in the halls of precincts and darkening the hearts of white supremacist bad cops who use their badge to terrorize black Americans, which keeps this dichotomy alive.
So here we are in the year 2020 still dealing with the culture clash of black and blue. When protestors march declaring “black lives matter” some feel the need to defensively respond “blue lives matter.” The wives, husbands and families of dedicated policeman who put their lives on the line every day, feel like their voice is muted by the BLM megaphone.
On the other hand, those who are trying to get the attention of the collective soul of America, to get true reform and the eradication of systemic racism from their human experience feel their message needs no qualifier – just empathetic action.
The interesting thing is, from a human perspective the visceral fear on both sides is real and valid – one side for being targeted simply because of the color of their skin, the other for being targeted because of the color of their uniform.
The difference is Officer Friendly can come home, remove his uniform, place his badge on the nightstand and go out on the town incognito and enjoy a “suspicious”- free outing. The black person can’t remove his or her skin which alone triggers fear and loathing in the racist, unbalanced, bigoted mind. They can’t afford to simply relax and not be on alert when driving, when jogging, when entering their own house, when sleeping in their own house, when eating a bowl of ice cream in their own apartment . . . etc.
In life, there is no such thing as “the right side of the coin” – there is heads and there is tails and they both exist at the same time. The underlying message in this analogy simply means that if you are all in on team tails, you must be willing to flip the coin over to understand the whole truth, to find balanced perspective and a productive way forward.
Heads: Black Lives Matter – period. We must listen and learn.
Tails: Not all cops are racist – period.
Heads: Men and women in blue, we still need you, no matter what the extreme radical talking point of the day is. We need you to be as passionate about your sworn oath to serve and protect all of us as you are about the power you possess with badge and sidearm.
Tails: We need you to treat every unarmed black American suspect the same as you treat every unarmed white American suspect. We need you to quit seeing black skin as a personal threat, to listen and respond properly when someone is cuffed and restrained and pleading for life and breath.
Men and women in blue, I believe respect for what you do, appreciating how dangerous your job is and how much is expected from you is understood and respected by most mature, thinking human beings. We pray for your safety. We hope for your sakes that much needed internal reform will free your profession from “bad cops who behave badly.”
For me, you are the face at the door I want to see when I’m scared to death and afraid for my life. I want every American no matter what the color of their skin to someday feel the same.
Black, white, blue and every hue in between – we all bleed red – and that is the whole coin.
The Zen Den
Hello and welcome to The Zen Den. My name is Alison and while I am passionate about many things, my most inspiring driving force is human connection. Blogger, content writer, orthopedic exercise specialist, motivational speaker, international yoga pro, published songwriter, avid poker player, mom and wife are just a few of my titles. But when I do my job at NASA, I am known simply as “The Fairy Zenmother” a role I deeply love because people invite me into their space to help them find their center, relax and stretch their muscles and destress their mind. Here in the blogosphere version of The Zen Den, I invite you into my world where I will explore ideas for creating a better tomorrow and a kinder today. And hopefully, with insight, authenticity and humor; my words, observations and experiences will help you feel calm, centered, intellectually challenged and spiritually enlightened. Alternatively, if you have something you would like to see covered in The Zen Den, just let me know. Your feedback is welcome and valuable to the success of this blog. Finally, my heart is filled with gratitude to have this opportunity to share with all of you.
