The following is written by a guest blogger. The opinions expressed here are those of the writer and do not reflect the opinions of Bob Lacey, Sheri Lynch or the Bob & Sheri show.
The man was backing out of his parallel parked car on a crowded neighborhood street when a car came barreling around the corner. The young lady sped up when she saw him backing out and came right up to his bumper. With very little space left to maneuver, he was forced to retreat as she sneered at him and waved her fist, angrily shouting curse words his direction.
Her message was clear, “how dare you back out on my road, disrupting my path and making me have to slow down and take time out of my day to accommodate you.” Not too shocked, but saddened by her lack of perspective, the man chalked it up to yet another example of this me-centric society which he has come to accept and then he went about his day.
Having instant access to apps for anything we can literally think of resting in the palm of our hands, to being able to watch our pre-programmed favorite shows on our huge flat screen televisions – we are now the generation of IWWIWWIWI (I want what I want when I want it). And sadly, on the unfortunate occasion when that doesn’t happen, we now believe “something must be wrong, this can’t be happening to me.”
This is where we are. The more me-centric we become, the more we lose perspective of who we are as individuals in relation to all other people sharing this space and time. The IWWIWWIWI tendency actually changes our brain’s ability to accommodate nuance. We develop new negative neuropathways which reinforce the self and strengthen the ego. As this occurs, the “me mindset” affects our ability to regulate our overly reactive emotions – thus the explosive anger of the young driver in the previous example.
Sadly and unfortunately, one dire result of the explosion of me-centric mindsets is potentially the mass extinction of human being’s better qualities; graciousness, selflessness, kindness, patience, loyalty, etc.
While social media and news shows are fond of pointing out the lack of graciousness we see in many of our political leaders, to what end? “So and so was a total idiot today when he said, this or that.” How does calling it out change our own perspectives? As always, it is quite easy to observe me-centric behavior in others, but how do we see it and change it in our own selves? This is the bigger issue and the challenge each of us face if we are going to make a difference and change the course of our must have now mentality.
Truth be told, it is impossible for me or you to be completely impervious to the toxic effects of our on demand world. We are all vulnerable. However, by our actions, we can inspire and encourage one another to do better. When we see people behaving badly, we can choose a different approach. Sometimes just the smallest gesture of empathy or kindness can set off a spark in a me-centric mind and for a moment the ego is tempered. “Oh wait, what was I thinking? I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention. Please go ahead, I am not in a hurry and you only have two items. You go first.”
Then you see it. The smile – the first indication your example has had an impact. The gratitude – “Oh, thank you, yes I’m in a huge hurry to pick my daughter up from school.” The result – you get to witness the effect of your small anti me-centric moment. “Again, thanks . . . have a nice day.” And you smile back and say, “you too.”
Beautifully, graciousness in that moment although endangered is still very much alive. By one small gesture of human kindness, this me-centric on demand world loses its power for a second or two.
The Zen Den
Hello and welcome to The Zen Den. My name is Alison and while I am passionate about many things, my most inspiring driving force is human connection. Blogger, content writer, orthopedic exercise specialist, motivational speaker, international yoga pro, published songwriter, avid poker player, mom and wife are just a few of my titles. But when I do my job at NASA, I am known simply as “The Fairy Zenmother” a role I deeply love because people invite me into their space to help them find their center, relax and stretch their muscles and destress their mind. Here in the blogosphere version of The Zen Den, I invite you into my world where I will explore ideas for creating a better tomorrow and a kinder today. And hopefully, with insight, authenticity and humor; my words, observations and experiences will help you feel calm, centered, intellectually challenged and spiritually enlightened. Alternatively, if you have something you would like to see covered in The Zen Den, just let me know. Your feedback is welcome and valuable to the success of this blog. Finally, my heart is filled with gratitude to have this opportunity to share with all of you.
Yes to the above. Sadly, we habituate to self engrossment. Fortunately, neurons are able to grow in positive or negative direction. Lots depends on stepping away from personal need-set, if only for a moment…to settle out, refresh our “better angels.”