The following is written by a guest blogger. The opinions expressed here are those of the writer and do not reflect the opinions of Bob Lacey, Sheri Lynch or the Bob & Sheri show.
It is the most basic of human drives – the urge to engage in sexual intercourse with another human being. And yet, this hormonally driven visceral attraction embedded in our human DNA is often the one topic people are the least open about. The reasons for this are vast – religious upbringings, fears and phobias, cultural beliefs and a variety of influences which have shaped thoughts about the act itself.
It’s weird to think that the most beautiful, intimate connection two adult people in a committed relationship can share can be twisted and contorted into something which creates an emotional response of shame, guilt, or embarrassment. I blame this on a number of things including the inability to be honest and open due to skewed morality messages and sexual hang-ups passed on by sometimes well-meaning, but often misguided adults.
What are the ingredients for a great, healthy sex life? Openness, honesty, curiosity and a willingness to learn and be vulnerable with your partner; these are a few that come to mind. As in all complex areas of relationships – good communication is Key to success.
We women share everything about our birth experiences, our hormonal fluctuations, etc. but sometimes these same normally open women will close up and shut down when the topic of sex comes up. It always surprises me when I observe 50 year-old outgoing, intelligent women turn into embarrassed, coy, giggly teenagers at the mere mention of an orgasm.
My question is how can any of us have a healthy, vibrant sex life if we aren’t willing to talk about the essential recipe ingredients needed to create it?
For me there is nothing more refreshing than talking to a girlfriend who has zero inhibitions when it comes to the topic of sex. Nothing is taboo. Everything is open for discussion and sharing – just as you would share a recipe for the best bananas foster (Freudian slip?) ever! I am so grateful I have a few of these very fun, very honest and uninhibited close friends. I’ve learned so much from them and I’m sure my husband is quite thankful as well.
To have a great marriage, both partners need to feel physically and emotionally satisfied with the quality of their intimacy.
Sex is a normal part of life. Talking about sex and all that goes with it is a normal, healthy conversation to have with people you trust. If you are willing to go to your gynecologist and have them probe your private parts but not willing to have an open discussion with other women who share the same parts and therefore might have some insightful wisdom – perhaps it is time to reexamine some deeper psychological issues regarding sex.
Everything about a thriving relationship requires healthy communication; to be open to listen and learn with an unfiltered, explorative mind. Sometimes opening up and talking about the thing that makes you the most uncomfortable is the best thing you can do for yourself and your relationship.
Want better sex? Talk to a friend who has already discovered the recipe and then be brave enough to add some of your own secret ingredients. Whatever you do, don’t be afraid to let go long enough to talk . . .after all, this is one of the great perks of being adult, a license to talk about sex and not feel embarrassed or judged. Go for it.
The Zen Den
Hello and welcome to The Zen Den. My name is Alison and while I am passionate about many things, my most inspiring driving force is human connection. Blogger, content writer, orthopedic exercise specialist, motivational speaker, international yoga pro, published songwriter, avid poker player, mom and wife are just a few of my titles. But when I do my job at NASA, I am known simply as “The Fairy Zenmother” a role I deeply love because people invite me into their space to help them find their center, relax and stretch their muscles and destress their mind. Here in the blogosphere version of The Zen Den, I invite you into my world where I will explore ideas for creating a better tomorrow and a kinder today. And hopefully, with insight, authenticity and humor; my words, observations and experiences will help you feel calm, centered, intellectually challenged and spiritually enlightened. Alternatively, if you have something you would like to see covered in The Zen Den, just let me know. Your feedback is welcome and valuable to the success of this blog. Finally, my heart is filled with gratitude to have this opportunity to share with all of you.
