I can hear my phone in the other room. It’s the familiar song that tells me my daughter is calling . . . John Mayer’s voice singing
“Fathers, be good to your daughters, Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too…
I sprint to grab my phone and realize with a little jolt of joy – she is Facetiming us. Yay! Small thing, I know, but for her dad and I practicing social distancing . . . it’s the highlight of our day.
While I see her mouth moving and my ears hear her words, my heart is somewhere else, and my eyes . . . lost in her beauty. I try to stay present, to truly listen so I can respond appropriately . . . but I’m tracing the curves of her smile, getting lost in the deep blue sea of her amazing eyes. Quickly, I pull back my emotional mom brain and work to engage. Present for only moments, my thoughts once again drift away . . . “look at her, she is just so beautiful . . . so smart and so lovely . . . wasn’t it just yesterday I was rocking her in my arms?”
I am living to hug my kids. Just like all of you who are staying home and protecting your loved ones from the possibility of transmission. For me, it has become viscerally painful. I can only imagine how those of you who are unable to hold your precious grandbabies must be feeling. I know it hurts.
But this is our shared reality in this season. People all over the world are experiencing the same emotions, feeling sadness and loss while also finding gratitude in little joys like a beautiful sunrise or a virtual chat with a girlfriend. As the brakes have slammed on the “hurry up and go” lifestyle, we now have time – plenty of time to connect, reflect, reset and renew all of our interactions, even the way we engage our own thoughts.
I’m telling myself: “It’s OK to explore all the feels.”
Let your heart experience everything during this time of contemplation, uncertainty and longing for the hugs we love so much. Give yourself the gift of time and enjoy “feeling all the feels” . . . because this too shall pass. And while life may never return to what it once was, rest assured there will be a new version of life in the fast lane.
As for me, I want my heart to absorb my Facetime feels and translate those into my real time moments when once again I get to enjoy hugs with my favorite humans. #StaySafe
The Zen Den
Hello and welcome to The Zen Den. My name is Alison and while I am passionate about many things, my most inspiring driving force is human connection. Blogger, content writer, orthopedic exercise specialist, motivational speaker, international yoga pro, published songwriter, avid poker player, mom and wife are just a few of my titles. But when I do my job at NASA, I am known simply as “The Fairy Zenmother” a role I deeply love because people invite me into their space to help them find their center, relax and stretch their muscles and destress their mind. Here in the blogosphere version of The Zen Den, I invite you into my world where I will explore ideas for creating a better tomorrow and a kinder today. And hopefully, with insight, authenticity and humor; my words, observations and experiences will help you feel calm, centered, intellectually challenged and spiritually enlightened. Alternatively, if you have something you would like to see covered in The Zen Den, just let me know. Your feedback is welcome and valuable to the success of this blog. Finally, my heart is filled with gratitude to have this opportunity to share with all of you.
