“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung
Over Thanksgiving my husband and I looked through some old pictures. We came across photos of the house we built in Charlotte which spanned from the first day we moved in until we moved out 15 years later.
One thing stood out and totally shocked us. The beautiful birch tree which was planted in front of our front porch had undergone quite the transformation. We laughed because in our minds that tree had always been glorious; a forty foot high majesty of shade! But in truth it was merely a small sapling the day we moved in. The growth was just so subtle that we didn’t notice the change.
The observation got us both to thinking a lot about how our amazing tree is a great analogy to areas in our own life which we work on every day.
I think most of us can relate to having areas in our life which we would like to change or at least improve. Whether it’s constant perfectionism, need to control, incessant procrastination or hoarding stuff we don’t need – most of us have identified our weaknesses.
The problem is in our instant access “app frenzied” culture – we want “different” now. Unfortunately, when it comes to changing human behavior, it doesn’t happen at the swipe of a screen or a press of a button.
It takes making difficult choices every day. It would be so great if we all could shed 10 lbs. by downloading a killer workout or by taking the newest miracle in a pill or if we could snap our fingers and become a better partner to our spouse by reading a self-help book – but that just isn’t how it works!
Growth happens one day at a time, and in practice, one better choice . . . in the moment . . . with a consistent mindset of awareness.
Sounds good, but how do I do that?
If you are a die-hard procrastinator – set the timer for 5 minutes and attempt to do the task you have been putting off. That five minutes may turn into 10 or 20 and when you are done you will feel empowered and excited to make that choice again.
If you are trying to drop a few pounds but hate exercising and love ice cream – start with baby steps. Walking is one of the best ways to get the fire burning so take a walk around your neighborhood or instead of tirelessly searching for the closest parking spot, deliberately part a long distance from the grocery store. And when you get there, buy a delicious low-fat creamy yogurt and pass on the Ben and Jerry’s!
If you feel like you are distant with your partner and not connecting in the best way – plan a regular date night. Leave your phone turned off. Go somewhere where you can enjoy each other’s company without distraction. You don’t have to spend money – sometimes a simple walk in the park holding hands can be your best path to deeper communication. Invest emotional energy with curiosity as if you are meeting this person for the very first time. If possible, incorporate this date adventure into your weekly calendar.
If you feel weighed down with clutter but the task of organizing seems overwhelming – just take on one junk drawer. Start there. The sense of accomplishment may feel so empowering, you might do another!
These are just small suggestions for little daily choices which will reap huge rewards over time. While you may not see a significant change in a week or a month, over time just like the beautiful birch tree – you will look different to the world and especially to yourself.
As the famous psychiatrist Carl Jung stated, we don’t have to be defined by what happened to us in the past but instead we can choose what we want to become from this moment forward – we CAN grow our best life one choice at a time.
The Zen Den
Hello and welcome to The Zen Den. My name is Alison and while I am passionate about many things, my most inspiring driving force is human connection. Blogger, content writer, orthopedic exercise specialist, motivational speaker, international yoga pro, published songwriter, avid poker player, mom and wife are just a few of my titles. But when I do my job at NASA, I am known simply as “The Fairy Zenmother” a role I deeply love because people invite me into their space to help them find their center, relax and stretch their muscles and destress their mind. Here in the blogosphere version of The Zen Den, I invite you into my world where I will explore ideas for creating a better tomorrow and a kinder today. And hopefully, with insight, authenticity and humor; my words, observations and experiences will help you feel calm, centered, intellectually challenged and spiritually enlightened. Alternatively, if you have something you would like to see covered in The Zen Den, just let me know. Your feedback is welcome and valuable to the success of this blog. Finally, my heart is filled with gratitude to have this opportunity to share with all of you.
