“So totally random but, I want to tell you all about a revelation I recently had,” she says. Not an unusual statement coming from our lovely, intelligent 29-year-old daughter. Unsure of what may be coming next, her adoring husband appearing a wee bit uncomfortable, looks at us with a quirky question mark expression. Being the ones who raised her, we weren’t nervous about what topic she might put forth. With our bunch, there has never been a topic too sensitive for group consumption.
She divulges her epiphany, “I have been thinking a lot about this lately and I realized, there is nothing more attractive to me than the fact that my husband understands a woman’s body and inner anatomy”.
Wow, not exactly what I was expecting, but way cool!! Her dad and I, both blown away by her intriguing observation . . . lean in. “Please, do tell!”
She goes on to explain while growing up – her dad had always been understanding, empathetic and available to discuss any life issue even, if need be, her “feminine cycle” and all the havoc it could wreak on her body and emotions. “Remember how Dad would patiently listen when I would worry about a mysterious pain or had a nagging “what if” question that I couldn’t subdue. Like you Mom, Dad also always knew the right medical words and science behind everything to do with my female biology.”
She’s right, the man I fell in love with wasn’t one to say, “Wait till your mom comes home,” deferring perhaps uncomfortable female issues to me. If he was parent on deck, he jumped right in to educate and address her needs.
Fortunately (for all of us including our son), he was usually tuned-in to the inner workings of womanhood. He understood the function and types of birth control, how our anatomy operates, he was empathetic to the random pains, he was patient and kind during the occasional atypical behavior. He knew that we weren’t possessed by a demon or dying from pain, it was just A+B=C. He got it! (I think I get a little bit of credit for his enlightenment.)
And now, here we sit observing the fruition of fatherly openness and nurturing on full display as our daughter nuzzles next to her husband, a man who understands and values the nuances of the opposite sex, in a similar fashion to the man who raised her.
Inside I’m thinking: this is really so cool and I hadn’t ever thought about it like that before and how thankful I am for this special man, my caring son-in-law whom she has chosen to spend her life with.
The need to cry just because? He gets it!
Doubling over in pain from an ovarian cyst burst in the middle of a museum? He gets it!
Pouring & serving her drink of choice when she is unable to move from the couch? He gets it!
Perhaps it is because both my son-in-law and my husband had an older sister and had learned by observation how to navigate the more complex issues of the females in the house. Whatever the wisdom behind their superhero soothing powers – I say, brilliant! The guys humbly say, “it isn’t some big mystery.”
To me, it makes total sense that she was drawn to a man who is sensitive like her dad and has always been there for her in the times when she needed it most – her husband, her biggest fan, is completely devoted and happy to hold her hand during the times of unexpected pain or unwanted depression.
Her final statement on the topic was that she can only hope that every woman has a man like this in their life. But women also need to do their part to be open, honest and communicate their needs which hopefully will lead to more empathy and understanding from the men in their lives. Wishing she could share her wisdom with all women and let them know that a real man knows how ovaries work, what an IUD is, what happens during a period, that women are strong amazing multifaceted creatures who deserve to be understood not shunned or belittled when their anatomy behaves as it should. Every woman should be able to say, “He Gets It!”.
The Zen Den
Hello and welcome to The Zen Den. My name is Alison and while I am passionate about many things, my most inspiring driving force is human connection. Blogger, content writer, orthopedic exercise specialist, motivational speaker, international yoga pro, published songwriter, avid poker player, mom and wife are just a few of my titles. But when I do my job at NASA, I am known simply as “The Fairy Zenmother” a role I deeply love because people invite me into their space to help them find their center, relax and stretch their muscles and destress their mind. Here in the blogosphere version of The Zen Den, I invite you into my world where I will explore ideas for creating a better tomorrow and a kinder today. And hopefully, with insight, authenticity and humor; my words, observations and experiences will help you feel calm, centered, intellectually challenged and spiritually enlightened. Alternatively, if you have something you would like to see covered in The Zen Den, just let me know. Your feedback is welcome and valuable to the success of this blog. Finally, my heart is filled with gratitude to have this opportunity to share with all of you.
