Ok, I have a confession. I’m not gonna lie . . . Mother’s Day weekend has hit me smack dab in the heart since 1979. The pain of losing my mom at 19 and the annual May reminder of my deep loss inevitably gets triggered by emotional mother/daughter commercials, SNL specials honoring mom and more recently – all the amazing dedications and joyful pictures on Facebook celebrating these very special people we call “mom”.
My husband pretty much knows that at some point there will be tears – fortunately he gives good comfort. He knows how much I miss her. She was my best friend and soft place to fall. It is so very sad to think she missed all of the best parts of my life; marrying the best human being I know, giving birth to her second grandson and her third granddaughter, watching them grow up to be amazing adults, fall in love and get married. She would have relished every moment.
And so I allow myself to feel the pain, to grieve, to cry for all of my motherless moments until I feel emptied and cleansed . . . and then I know it is time to close the floodgates and shift my focus.
My thoughts go to “Hallelujah! I’m a mom and it is the greatest role I could hope for and one I love and treasure the most.” Like the ocean tide, my heart washes over with gratitude carrying my former thoughts away.
The pain ebbs and overwhelming feelings of joy replace the ache in my chest. The beauty of this truth is from the moment I felt their first kicks in my womb until this very moment inspiring me to write – my son Joel and my daughter Kara have been the sunshine of my life. It’s just a mom thing.
Now that my kids are both grown adults, needless to say, my mom duties have evolved considerably. No longer the name shouted down the stairs when a personal item has mysteriously disappeared (easily found with my assistance), I am now summoned by “hey, mom . . . want to grab a bite for lunch?” smiley face emoji. Fortunately for my mom heart – I am close enough to jump in my car and take advantage of most every opportunity to “just hang out.”
This is perhaps the best of times – our kids are now our best friends. Hiking, golfing, grilling or just laughing and playing games – our son and daughter-in-law and daughter and son-in-law are simply some of the coolest, most interesting and intellectually stimulating, super fun people we know.
And I am their “mom.” What a magnificent word to celebrate. Happy Mother’s Day Moms!!
This article was written by a guest blogger. The opinions expressed here are those of the writer and do not reflect the opinions of Bob Lacey, Sheri Lynch or the Bob & Sheri show.
The Zen Den
Hello and welcome to The Zen Den. My name is Alison and while I am passionate about many things, my most inspiring driving force is human connection. Blogger, content writer, orthopedic exercise specialist, motivational speaker, international yoga pro, published songwriter, avid poker player, mom and wife are just a few of my titles. But when I do my job at NASA, I am known simply as “The Fairy Zenmother” a role I deeply love because people invite me into their space to help them find their center, relax and stretch their muscles and destress their mind. Here in the blogosphere version of The Zen Den, I invite you into my world where I will explore ideas for creating a better tomorrow and a kinder today. And hopefully, with insight, authenticity and humor; my words, observations and experiences will help you feel calm, centered, intellectually challenged and spiritually enlightened. Alternatively, if you have something you would like to see covered in The Zen Den, just let me know. Your feedback is welcome and valuable to the success of this blog. Finally, my heart is filled with gratitude to have this opportunity to share with all of you.
I relate to this so much! My mom will have been gone 19 years on June 18. The ache is still palpable. She saw me marry the love of my life, and she met my kids, but she didn’t get to see them as adults. I know she would absolutely LOVE the adults they are! And my Grandchildren–Oh would she have loved that! Laughter was her hallmark! She was only 63 when she died. She was noncompliant with her blood pressure meds and had a stroke. She was alone when she died, at home. It kills me that I couldn’t be there for her. She was such a huge personality! Most of the time I think of her and smile. But there are definitely times when thoughts of her bring tears. Mother’s Day is one of those day. The other is my birthday–the day her funeral was held. Hugs to you!
Terri, thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I’m grateful that I was able to convey my personal story in a way that touched you. Your words “the ache is still palpable” resonate so deeply. I’m sorry that we share this pain in common – but I’m more thankful that we also share the love of a mother who had a huge personality and brought so much love and laughter to others. The motherless child club is one none of us want to be initiated into – but it is comforting to know there are many others out there who experience Mother’s Day on a deeper level and we can be there for each other. Hugs to you as well.